my life is in Your hands

2011 was my year!

2011-12-31T20:15:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year!!!!It is 2012!!

Honestly, I do not want 2011 to end. 2011 is my year. So many good things happened to me and my family that year. First of all, I can only thank God for everything - tears, challenges, pain, and blessings, all rolled in one. I am also thankful that Alex and I are still in love with each other, still have the same goals, worked out our differences, and are now proud parents of Cinzia Amor Glaze. The highlights of my 2011 are as follows (in random order):

The birth of my daughter

Cinzia is such a blessing! She is 5 months old now. Without bias, I can truly say she is a cutie pie. Wish baby production is as easy as 123 so I could have more cuties just like her..

MA in Teaching degree from USC

With a huge belly (7months preggy), I marched through my graduation in May 2011. My classmates cheered for me! I was the most pregnant that day!

A fulfilling career

As I tell my friends, I feel guilty that I do not feel that my job is a job. I am enjoying it too much! I like my co-teachers, my students, and my school. I feel at home. My kids' parents are so supportive. They make my teaching easier. My kids are also brilliant! I cannot ask for more. I am so proud of them.

Trip to Philippines with Alex and Cinzia!

It was fun! Alex and I love to travel and it seems that Cinzia does too! She did not create any fuss on our long flights, long layovers, and during our stay in Davao. the trip was just two weeks but it was fun-filled, happy, and productive. Alex and Cinzia were able to meet my family.

I wonder if 2012 has way better things in store for me. Bring it on!!!

Goal achieved.

2011-09-18T18:13:00.001-07:00

God set me up. It was so clear.

One of the goals I set early this year was to establish my career. A baby was coming and so I had to settle down career-wise. I thought I would end up at a public school because my teaching and job experiences since I got here in the US were in public schools. Boy was I wrong. God has a better plan.

I ended up at an SDA school, a private school at that. I love working there. My co-teachers awesome! My students are great! I cannot believe this. Plus, the school is just 10 miles away from home! The pay is way better too than what I got in the public school. This is such a blessing!

The process how I got the job was overwhelming. Our pastor recommended me. It turned out there were 3 of us being interviewed for the teaching vacancy. I met up with the principals twice. The second one was with the Personnel Committee with 12 people. I cried after the 2nd interview in my car. It was overwhelming and emotionally draining. The waiting game is always worse. Four days after school started, they called me. It was the call I have been waiting for!(When the principal and I hung up, Cinzia pooped all over my lap! That was her best way to tell me, "Congratulations, Mommy!")

I love Glendale Adventist Elementary School. I love first grade. I hope and pray I will grow old there. This is the career I long for. This may not be the job I envision myself getting into but this situation is better than that. Thanks a lot, Big Papa!

God's plan

2011-08-13T18:00:00.000-07:00

I think something big will happen next week. Thank you, Jesus.

Cinzia's Birth Story

2011-07-26T17:04:00.000-07:00

It has been more than a month since I gave birth. Cinzia has become the center of our lives since then. She is such a beautiful Pan-Pinoy kid. Before I forget my experiences prior to and on 7/7/2011, let me reminisce them here.

July 1 - During my regular OB appointment, Dr. Wu said I am 3cm dilated. He reviewed my records and said, I have two due dates. It could have been on July 1, based on my last period, OR on July 13, based on my ultrasound. Before Alex and I left his office, he said, "If nothing happens during the weekend, see me on July 5."

July 5 - Alex and I went to see him. Apparently, nothing happened over the weekend. He said I am still 3cm dilated, there was no improvement from last time. After he checked on me, he invited us to a private conversation at the back of his clinic. He told us that if we wait longer (until my 40th wk), Cinzia might get bigger because genetically she can get bigger because of her dad. Medically, my body is not suited to carry a baby that big because I am small, relatively. To avoid C-section, we might as well have the baby this week. He suggested that we check in the hospital Wednesday night that week and he would induce me that night. The plan was for us to have the baby at 12nn on Thursday, 7/7. Alex and I agreed to the idea. Dr. Wu said, "I am the pilot here and I believe this is the best for the baby."

July 6 - Friends Ritche and Rose came to our place for moral support. They brought Alex and me to a Korean restaurant close to Glendale Adventist Med Center where I will be delivering. We then checked in the hospital at around 8:30pm. It was so funny because right when we opened the door to the delivery and labor area, the nurses welcomed us with, "Glaze?" They were already waiting for us. I then changed to the hospital gown they gave me. They then attached tubes and the IV. They also put monitoring devices around my tummy. They injected pitocin through the IV. That was the drug to induce me. Alex and I slept.

July 7 - This is the big day so I am going to write down more details.

12:30 am - I felt the contractions but they're light still. I kept on going to the bathroom to cleanse my bladder then I went back to sleep.

2:30 am - I needed to go to the bathroom so badly!!!!I woke up Alex and it took him forever to unattach the tubes and stuff so I could go. I was getting frustrated. When I got up, I felt a trickle of water down my leg. My water just broke! When I sat on the toilet, nothing came out. My nurse arrived and she said it must be the baby pushing out. I laid down again and a gush of water just came out! It was warm and uncomfortable. Then my contractions just got stronger. They were painful. Alex and I started doing the breathing exercises we learned at the lamaze class. The nurse checked on me and I was already 6 cm dilated. She then asked me if I wanted the epidural. I said yes. The pain was tolerable but I did not know how long I can bear the pain and how long my labor will be.

3:00 am - The anesthesiologist came to give me the epidural. My contractions were getting stronger and more painful. She injected it to my spine and I felt pain but it was nothing compared to the contractions. The epidural slowly kicked in. Alex and I decided to sleep again.

6:00 am - The nurse checked on me and I was already 10 cm! She said I was ready to push!Her words, "I am calling Dr. Wu now" scared me. Alex and I were looking at each other. Our stares were saying, "This is it."

7:00 am - Dr. Wu came and checked me. The nurses asked me to push.

I forgot what time it was but Dr. Wu came back with his team. He said Cinzia was in a 7o'clock position, instead of 6o'clock. He had to vacuum her. With the nurses, they told me to push.

7:35 am - I finally heard Cinzia cry. She has come out!I cried and cried. I was so overwhelmed.

Here is our first family picture and a picture with Dr. Wu. He is the best OB! Thank God for him! It is such a blessing to have Cinzia. She is an angel.

Blessings

2011-06-25T13:23:00.000-07:00

Right now I am attending Class 201 at our church. It makes me realize that I sometimes forget to praise God for all the wonderful things He has given me. This blog is actually dedicated to Him. He is the Director of my life. I credit Him for everything. Lately, I have only prayed just to ask Him something or to help me with whatever I need. I am such an ungrateful daughter.

Here are the wonderful blessings He has showered upon my life since I last updated this blog.

1. My Graduation on 5/13/2011. I finally got my MA in Teaching diploma. I thought my studies would never end. It was the busiest part of my life! God is good! I graduated! I met my classmates (from all over the country) whom I made personal connections with online for over a year. It was a marvelous meeting! It was a very nice day!

2. Baby Shower. Our church family at Burbank SDA Church has been so good to me and Alex. They threw us a baby shower which gathered our families and friends. The fellowship hall was packed! People just made it happen for us. Even if my family is not here, I feel the love and support surrounding me.

3. My smooth and healthy pregnancy.God is really amazing! With this pregnancy, I was able to do so much - got a teaching job, graduated, drove almost 2hrs everyday to and from work, had energy to clean the house, and still worked until my 37th week. This baby is just amazing. She is strong.She has not given me problems at all. How dare I say I am not ready to see her because of my selfish reasons. I would always tell people, "I am ready to stop being pregnant but I am not ready to see her (to be a mom to her)." What an ungrateful stupid girl I am! Who would not love this beautiful girl inside me?

4. My birthday. I turned 27 last 6/21. Alex and I went to dinner with Rose and Ritche. We ate at Pomodoro, an Italian resto. Thank God for good friends!They are amazing!

I really should start becoming more grateful to God. I have to be more hopeful too. Thank you Lord for your nature! Thank you so much!

25 weeks!

2011-04-03T16:41:00.001-07:00

Meet Cinzia B. Glaze

Week 16 - Nasal Congestion

2011-01-29T09:04:00.000-08:00

Last Sunday night, I could not sleep. I could not breathe properly. I had a really bad nasal congestion. It was the worst I have ever had in my life. I cried and cried, slowly breathing through my mouth. I thought it was just allergies. At this time of the year, sneezes and flu-ish feeling are always my best friends but I have never ever felt this bad. The next morning, I felt horrible but I had to get up to go teach. Before I dressed up, I checked my emails. There was the email that was the answer to my dilemma! The subject was "Week 16 - Nasal Congestion." Waaaaaaah. Babycenter.com knew everything! The article recommended saline nasal spray and neti pot. I bought both that afternoon. They mad me feel better but the congestion is not gone at all!

It has been 6 days now but the congestion is still here. I was absent at school for 2 days. This nasal congestion is the worst symptom ever! I was even hopeful that I'd feel better this 2nd trimester because I no longer throw up and get hungry as much. I really really really hope this will go away soon.

As for academics, four more weeks to go and I will be graduating as a Trojan! I cannot wait! The state tests (RICA, CBEST, CSET) are done. The state requirements (CAT and PACT) are also done. That was a long journey being at USC but here I am -- almost done! Almost credentialed! Aside from my remaining coursework, I still have one more requirement to pass - the US requirement exam. I plan to take it a week from now.

As for our moving to the new apartment, everything is well. I am happy we are at a bigger place right now. We are still looking for a dining table. Alex still has to build our desks from the dismantled parts (due to moving). One major thing still has to happen. Alex has to bring the rest of our stuff - clothes, shoes, etc. - from our old place. We will be all set when Alex gets time to do all these. Yes, Alex - my hero. He doesn't want me to work and help out because I am pregnant. =)

There are so many things that are happening lately and it is overwhelming. Alex always tells me to relax and not pressure myself. I do not know how to do that. There are always new things to do.

And oh, I am planning to go back to cross stitching! When I am done with my grad studies, I wanna do master pieces and display them in our simple abode. I am so excited! My ultimate masterpiece is this:

The pattern was worth $7 from a certain website. I am so excited! Watch me!

Nasal Congestion. Grad studies. Pregnancy. Work. Moving in. Cross stitch. How am I going to do this? Go figure!

12 weeks!

2011-01-07T16:45:00.000-08:00

What do I want to accomplish in 2011?

2010-12-31T12:55:00.000-08:00

In random order,

1. graduate in February and march in May
2. BIG thanksgiving party for my graduation, birthday, and baby shower in june- ALL in ONE!
3. get a stabler teaching job at a public school
4. have a safe and not-so-painful delivery (nothing is impossible!lol)
5. happier marriage
6. get closer to God
7. better handling with my anger issues
8. visit philippines with our little tot in december (exciting!)
9. more prayers for my family and close friend who is praying for a vibrant lovelife

So help me God..

Was I able to do my 2010 plans?

2010-12-31T12:51:00.000-08:00

2010 was my craziest year ever since I migrated to the US. I did not expect grad school is that taxing and it would take most of my time. Let me review the plans I set for myself in 2010 and evaluate them:

In random order:

1. learn Spanish (seriously learn)---- no improvement at all!
2. start studying for MA + teaching credential ---- YES!
3. transfer to a bigger place ---- my biggest frustration but in 2 weeks we are moving to an apartment.
4. visit my home country (yay!!!) ---- nope. we planned it but I got pregnant so the baby is the priority.
5. buy Skechers running shoes ---- hmmm..I bought two for my parents.
6. visit my favorite relatives in Modesto ---- yes! but only once, or twice?
7. submit more to Alex's leadership ---- still working on it =)
8. pay off some debts (LOL) ---- YES!
9. learn how to drive and pass the driving test in one take ---- YES! YES! YES!

See, it was not that bad!LOL

2010 was a blast!

2010-12-31T08:53:00.000-08:00

Before this year ends, I would like to recollect the important events that happened to me and my family. I can say I made better decisions in 20101 than in 2009 and so here they go!

1. January: I started working as a Teacher Asst at a charter school. I was so happy that finally I got into the field I really wanted to get into. That was my first step to a good teaching career.
2. January : I also started going to graduate school at University of Southern California. I am in their MA in Teaching program.
3. March: Alex and I bought our first car in cash! Where? From Ebay!=)We had the car shipped from Pennsylvania.
4. June : Alex got a job at an IT company. That was my birthday wish granted from God! I did not tell anyone until Alex broke the good news. After all the layoffs and economic brouhaha, that job is such an answered prayer!
5. June: My college friend/orgmate/roommate became my sister-in-law. She married my brother-in-law. They had a nice wedding in Palmdale.
6. June: My dad was diagnosed with kidney failure. Dialysis was highly recommended.
7. July and August : I worked as a camp counselor at an Art Summer Camp!
8. September : I started my student teaching at Roscoe Elem School in Mrs. Binnie's class.
9. September: I started working as a tutor for LAUSD. =)
10. November : Started working at Mrs. Hadnett's class.
11. November: I learned I am pregnant!=)))))))
12. December: I passed the RICA test!

I am sure 2011 will be a blast! I will be graduating from grad school and I will be a mommy! What are we waiting for? Here we go!

Baby Glaze is coming!

2010-12-16T19:56:00.000-08:00

9.3 weeks inside as of 12/14/2010 =)

Christmas...Christmas..

2010-12-10T18:52:00.000-08:00

1. What is your holiday wish for your family?

House furniture! My family (husband, me, and unborn child) is moving to an apartment at the end of this month and we need new furniture.=)

2. What is your Christmas morning / Hanukkah Nightly tradition?

Play Christmas music

3. If you could ask Santa for one, completely decadent wish for yourself, what would it be?

a Subaru car!

4. How do you make the holidays special without spending any money?

spend quality time with my husband at home, sing songs..

5. What games did you play with your family growing up?

Scrabble

6. What holiday tradition have you carried on from your own childhood?

Christmas

7. Where would you go for a Christmas/Hanukkah-away-from-home trip?

Europe!

goal accomplished!

2010-09-21T16:33:00.001-07:00

Now that summer is over and it is early Fall, I can finally announce to the world that my big summer goal was accomplished. I PASSED THE ACTUAL DRIVING TEST IN CALIFORNIA!

It is big deal because I had never driven in my life and my driving instructor was my husband. I got my driver's license last week and I am treating it like $1000 cash in my wallet. =))))

I still do not drive on a daily basis. The school I am teaching at is only 3 miles from our house and so I bike there. However, I am the driver on weekends.

Welcome me, California highways!

Fun fun fun at Art Summer Camp!

2010-08-17T08:36:00.000-07:00

When I used to be a Pathfinder camper in 5th and 6th grade, I was always fascinated with how adults lead the kids at camp and how they can make the daily activities enjoyable for them. When I went to high school, I missed camps - sleeping in tents and waking up early, like 5am early, to start doing our responsibilities. Fast forward =====> When I arrived here in the US, I noticed that day camps are the normal thing in the summer. The camps can be anything from sports, farm, art to magic. This summer, I had the privilege to be hired as camp counselor at Summer Art Academy. And it was a wonderful experience!

I saw the job posting at craigslist and I applied right away. I met Elizabeth and Minnie, the camp directors, during my interview. The meeting was sort of orientation, that's when I realized that I would be hired. Three days later, they called me. Two months later, I was in front of kids and parents at 745am greeting them, leading them to the auditorium. My fun fun fun experience as camp counselor began.

We counselors were given different art classes where we helped the teachers and supervised the students with their work. On Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, my classes were Hocus Pocus (Magic class), Taekwondo, Yoga, and Lego Robotics. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, my classes were two Acrylics classes (with different teachers and students), Popstarz, and Pastel perfection. I met different kids in this camp and they are children of the people working for the media industry.

We had theme days most of the time. We had Pajama Day, Rock star day, Cartoon Day, Superhero day, and Crazy Hair Day. My co-counselors, 15 of us, got along pretty well. We had jobs starting an hour before camps starts in the morning until 30mins after camp ends in the afternoon.We were also divided into two lunch breaks. I was in the 2nd break. The one I got closest to was Nare, a 20-yr old Armenian girl who is going to UC Berkeley this fall. We shared stories everyday during lunch and when we were both supervising the kids in the cubbie area when they got their lunches.

Here are some pics of the 4-wk camp! Enjoy!

She just got out from her Stage Makeup class

Lego Robotics class

Cartoon Day

Getting messy in Acrylics class

Showing off their pastel masterpieces

Cubbie area

Crazy hair Day with some counselors-in-training

Nare with two boys on Rock Star Day

Coool

Bye, Crescendo... for now.

2010-07-25T21:23:00.000-07:00

From January to June,I was working as a Teacher Assistant at a charter school named Crescendo Charter School. I was also studying full-time to be a teacher at University of Southern California. It was the craziest 6months of my life! I worked full time and studied full time. After the school year ended on June 25, I was on a crossroad. If I would get a teaching job this coming Fall, I needed to transfer to another university and start the teacher prep program all over again. That means more $$$ and time before I become a credentialed teacher. That may mean two more years. By June, I was already halfway through my MA in Teaching (credential track) at USC and by Feb 2011, I will be done. Yes, that soon. So what should I choose? I decided to just get over my studies. With California's economy right now and teacher situation, I need to be qualified and more prepared for a teaching job. I do not want to be fired in the middle of the school year just because I am not credentialed or a Master's degree holder. I am doing student teaching in the Fall, instead of the full-time teaching job. By Feb, I will be a full-pledged Trojan! Fight on!

I was so happy when I got that job. I was finally able to creep in the educational sector which I am focusing myself into. I have learned a lot in my 6-month stay at the school. Miss Panaga, the 3rd grade teacher I was closely working with, was helpful. It was her first time to teach and she was learning some things too. We learned them together. The kids there were predominantly African-Americans and I learned a lot about their families, culture, attitudes, and many more. I did not have an easy time there. It was a challenging experience. I had to be careful with my words, jokes, dealing with my Hispanic co-workers, and making my Master Teacher and Mr. O'daniel happy. And this school is in downtown LA. Because I do not drive, I always took the bus and train to get there which is fine because I would have more study time. That was a one-hour trip one way everyday. More importantly, at that school, I learned how to become an affective teacher. I knew more about teaching strategies. I was able to observe what methods teachers use to encourage the kids and make them on task. With my studies at USC and daily exposure at school everyday, I was definitely getting the reaching my dream.=)

I will miss Crescendo. I would like to work with them again when I am done with my MA and credential. That would be awesome.. but nobody can tell what the future holds. I want to experience other schools too in other parts of LA. More exposure, the better. USC is trying to place me in a predominantly white school in the Fall and I am excited about that. I want to know how they are doing too.

Twas a date!

2010-05-31T14:22:00.000-07:00

Spring Break

2010-04-11T19:49:00.000-07:00

Spring Break is over!

It was a fun week. Alex and I drove to Modesto, 300 miles from Burbank, to visit my relatives. It was my uncle's birthday, and that means, pigging out!!!I missed Filipino food and it was awesome to be able to eat lutong-bahay again. Alex and I stayed there until Tuesday. We drove back to Burbank because I had a job interview the next day. The job was Receptionist at the Hollywood Bowl Museum. The interview went well but the director said they were looking forward to hire someone that can go on even after summer. Well, I could not do that so I moved on. Alex and I went to visit his bestfriend's family in Moreno Valley, a 1.5 hr drive from us. We had not seen them for more than a year!the get-together was a blast!Brad and Denae had two beautiful kids. (I am sure Alex envies them.)We were supposed to leave their place at 7pm but we decided to extend our stay and so we left at 12mn. That's how much fun we had!

Then my allergies struck. I was coughing really hard and my runny nose came the day after. So for the rest of the week, I have been nursing myself. I was supposed to relax, have fun, go to the beach maybe. But I guess my busy life has finally gotten a toll on me. Until now, I still have my allergies. I heard in the news, this is the worse allergy season in LA in a decade. Sigh*

Spring is ending. I hope I will feel better soon. I need to go back to work tomorrow.

Subaru Forester is here!!!

2010-03-14T09:37:00.000-07:00

No complaints..

2010-02-07T10:53:00.000-08:00

Last Friday, I was with my group of 7 students reviewing the long division process when my principal's boss, Mr. Allen, and someone from LAUSD came to observe the class. They were in our small room for just 2 minutes and they left.

During lunch at the cafeteria while I was supervising the 3rd graders, Mr. Allen came. We said our usual, "How are you doing?" Then this conversation followed:

Allen : Ms Glaze, do you have a teaching credential?
Me : I am actually working on it. I will be done next year. By the time I complete my program, I will have my Masters and credential.
Allen : What are your plans for the fall? Are you staying or leaving?
Me : It is really up to you. As long as you want me here...
Allen: (extends his hand to me) Well, Ms Glaze, you are guaranteed a full-time teaching job in the fall. Mark my word.

Then we exchanged phone numbers.

I could not ask for more. God is truly amazing!!! Since the beginning of this year, I have been silently praying for a teaching job in the fall. If I won't get one, I will quit working as a teacher assistant because I need to comply with my student teaching requirements with my graduate school. However, God has some other plans. With this full-time teaching job this September, my student teaching experience is my job! I am earning money and studying for my credential at the same time. That is really neat.

I remember Isaiah 65:24 (King James Version): "And it shall come to pass, that before they call, I will answer; and while they are yet speaking, I will hear."

Friends, I can only give praises to God right now. His will be done.

Work and school

2010-01-17T11:46:00.000-08:00

So since January 4, I have started working as a Teacher Assistant at Crescendo Charter School. I am so happy to have gotten out from my previous job. Let's just say, it was for me a second-best decision to have stayed there. I am glad I have moved on, and this time, I am in the field where I am passionate about and where I am really directing my career into - EDUCATION.

Crescendo Charter School is under LA Unified School District. It has many locations but I am assigned in the LA campus, along Western/Martin Luther King Blvd. With this job, I get to work under the direction of a credentialed teacher, Miss Panaga, in her 3rd grade class. I assist her in everything, from sharpening students' pencils to teaching the lessons in small groups in her class. I greatly admire her for organizing her big class of 29 third graders - how she can lead them to enter the classroom in the morning without noise, make them write in their journals quietly, make them all listen to her, and many more. She is Filipino, by the way. I was not sure at first but when I entered her classroom and saw the pictures of her family and boyfriend (?)displayed on her table, I was 85% sure she is. We have not talked anything about our personal lives. We do not have time. We have not talked in Filipino yet. I am not even sure if she speaks it because her English fluency is excellent. I finally became certain that she is Filipino due to two instances : 1.One morning, she is talking about imagination in class and her example was that she is imagining she is in the Philippines and she even mentioned that it takes almost 16 hrs to get there: 2.While she was relating a story in class, she has interchanged HE and SHE and she only realized it 3 minutes later. The latter is so common among Filipinos who do not grow up and whose first language is not English. I know I will learn a lot from her and her class. I am so receptive to learning new ideas. I am trying to gather as many ideas as I can for future use.

I work from 8am to 1pm every school day in Miss Panaga's class. Then I get a 2hr break. I usually stay at the conference room with my co-Teacher Assistants Miss Newton and Miss Guerrerro to chat and surf the internet. Then at 2:45, we start getting ready for the After School program. I handle the first graders who stay after school to do their homework while waiting for their parents to pick them up.My day ends at 4:45.

This job is soooo much better than my previous job. I love it. It is sometimes hard to deal with kids but that is the challenge there. You get to listen to them, anticipate what they are thinking, discipline them, talk to them, help them, and most especially, care for them.

This year also marks my first time to be in a Masters program. USC accepted me last year and I did not expect I would finally get myself into this. I am with their Masters in Teaching program + credential. It is a one-year program and at the end of this, I will be a credentialed teacher. I will be able to teach finally at any elementary school in California. I am very much looking forward to that.

As I was reading the syllabus of my first class, I realized that God is indeed the best Director in my life. My first class requires me to do school observations, interview school staff, analyze instructional materials, etc. and with my present job, I need not go out to complete such activities because I can do it in my school. Amazingly perfect. Had I stayed at my previous job, I would be a bad employee because I need to be absent every time to do school observations and interviews. I could not afford not to work. Bills need to be paid so this setup is perfect. Thank you, Lord.

I do not have complaints. Everything has turned out perfectly and I credit everything to God.

My motto for this year "No Complaints" is still on. =)

2010 little hopes and dreams

2010-01-03T08:21:00.000-08:00

Here they are, in random order:

1. learn Spanish (seriously learn)
2. start studying for MA + teaching credential
3. transfer to a bigger place
4. visit my home country (yay!!!)
5. buy Skechers running shoes
6. visit my favorite relatives in Modesto
7. submit more to Alex's leadership
8. pay off some debts (LOL)
9. learn how to drive and pass the driving test in one take

I will get back to this list at the end of 2010. Happy New Year everyone! Be stronger, wiser, and smarter!=)

Bye, 2009.. Ready for you, 2010!

2010-01-02T09:26:00.000-08:00

Alex and I agreed last night that 2009 was a bad year for us. I need not enumerate why was it bad. But despite the bad-ness of it, I will still dwell on the blessings we both received last year:

1. I passed CSET: Multiple Subjects (Subtests 1 and II)
2. I got my greencard!
3. I was able to go to UCLA to take an Education course.
4. I got accepted at USC for their MA teaching program + teaching credential. I will start in January.
5. I was interviewed in early December for a school job. I will also start in January.
6. Alex went to tax school and he is now a licensed tax preparer. I am so proud of him. He will also start his new job in January.

Our goal for 2010 is: to do God's will in our lives. God has blessed us tremendously but we still made 2nd best decisions last year because we did not listen to Him enough. So I claim that this is will be a better year for me and Alex!!!Goodbye, 2009!And here we come, 2010!

New year. New life. New jobs.=)

God is already there!

2009-12-05T14:50:00.001-08:00

Living in the US is not easy. At least, not for me. My husband is also an immigrant like me so both of us are working very hard for the future of our family. Right now, we are both in school. He is studying to become a licensed tax preparer and working on becoming a CPA while I am studying at UCLA to supplement my degree and learn new things and have fun.=)

Good things happen while Alex and I are working on our respective businesses. He topped his tax class and is now advancing to advance tax classes. Tax season is almost here and licensed preparers are in demand. I am proud of him for working so hard to be best in whatever he does. On my end, my class just ended and thankfully I got an A. I also applied for a grant for winter quarter. Hope my application gets approved. If not, I will find a way to enroll again next quarter. It is just freaking expensive to study in this country. So annoying, but something tells me it is worth it.

I am really hoping and praying that I will get into a teaching credential program next year. I have been in the US for 1.5 years now and after all that happened and I went through, it is about time to enroll in a teacher prep program. It takes a year to become credentialed and I want to start as soon as possible. I can no longer waste time.

Thank God for my greencard which helped me get around and plan these things. The day I got my greencard was one of the happiest day in my life. Alex was sooo happy too, after all the money and effort we've spent.Whew. But God is good, He answers prayers. He knows what He is doing.

God has been the author of everything that had happened, is happening, and will happen. No worries, God is already there, wherever we go and whatever we do!

Anniversary special

2009-09-29T21:10:00.000-07:00

So two weeks ago, Alex and I went to San Diego and celebrated our anniversary there. Felicia, his cousin, was so nice to accommodate us over the weekend. Overall, it was a very nice experience. I praise God more for blessing Alex and me with a very happy marriage.

So we left in the morning of Saturday, took Amtrak train to San Diego. I thought it would be a 2-hr boring ride but when I started seeing beaches along the way, I got excited. It was my first time to see so beautiful beaches and resorts in California. I have been to San Francisco, I live in LA, but the beaches here and up north have not appealed me. San Diego beaches did!! We arrived at our destination at around lunchtime. After Felicia picked us up at the Amtrak Station, we went for a walk along the harbor in downtown. She showed us San Diego skyline which looks like a toolbox. I was awed by the waters again. The beaches are just soooo beautiful. I cannot stop admiring it. Alex always warned me, "No swimming please," and I would teased him back,"But yes to jumping, right?" The water was just tempting but I did not give in. I did not bring my swim wear. Too bad. We then headed to a school where a football game was going on. Felicia's fiance served as the coach of the team. It was fun seeing middle schoolers playing tough football. I was munching on chips on cheese jalapeno and finishing my orange juice I bought on the train while watching the game. I clapped and cheered, and admired the young cheerleaders. After Felicia's fiance Aaron's team won, they both drove Alex and me to Coronado, an island that is part of San Diego. They showed us Hotel de Coronado and we bought ice cream afterwards. We also drove to Chula Vista, the city just at the border of Mexico and California. There was a huge Mexican flag on the hills indicating that that part we are seeing is already Mexico. I saw Mexico from a distance! It was my first time to see a different country from another country a few meters away from me! We then headed to the couple's place getting ready for dinner which Alex has been longing for months.

At 8pm, wearing my shorts and black shirt with a Philippine peso printed on it, I went with Alex to Old Cafe, where the best Mexican restaurant (according to him) is located. Wearing his 'Mahal Kita' shirt, he was so happy that night to see tortilla-making being shown in public just in front of the restaurant. We had the freshest tortilla for dinner along with our respective meal.

On Sunday, we decided to go on a ferry ride to Coronado. It was just a 30-minute ride on the ocean but I really enjoyed every minute of it. We had breakfast in the island and headed back to San Diego through the ferry again. We then went hiking up in one of the short mountains. I thought it would be a nonsense hike but lo and behold, the exercise was worth it. The sight when we got on top was amazing! Blue waters are all I can see! Big and beautiful waves are a sight to behold! I could sit down there and stare at them for the rest of my life.

We went down the mountain and killed time walking on the seashore. The cold water on my feet was a tingle. The people on the sand were enjoyable to watch. San Diego is beautiful.

We went to catch the train at 4pm. It was a trip to remember. It is always nice to get away from our regular lives in LA. I proposed to Alex we should always try a different place on every anniversary we have. To visit a new state is better. I think that would be fun, especially when you're with someone you really love.

Thank you, Lord. Thank you, San Diego! Thank you, cielito! Happy Anniversary! We made it!

California 101

2009-08-30T21:35:00.000-07:00

Well, things have been pretty crazy since the middle of this year. There were drastic changes in my life and the changes are good. For the better, as a matter of fact.

My life revolves around work, house, swimming, library, choir practice, church, and of course my husband.

Even if I already passed the California Subject Exam for Teachers (CSET) and I am already qualified to teach, I did not find a full-time teaching job that is really for me. I was in the waiting list at Oakland Unified School District, I was at the eligibility list at Pasadena Unified. I was accepted as a Substitute Instructional Aide at Burbank Unified, and I was hired by LA Unified as a teacher assistant. But I did not pursue any of them. I think I deserve more and that I might as well go back to school and take courses to help me become more qualified to teach.

So my work right now is at a company based in downtown LA. I work as an office assistant handling research and orders from Amazon.com and Overstock.com. Honestly, I enjoy what I do. The job is super busy that I cannot even notice the time passing by. The next thing I knew, it's already 5pm. I enjoy working with Paolo and Heidi, the other office personnel. There's challenge in the job. I am ok with what I am doing as long as I have something on the side. I easily get bored after work and my mind yearns to analyze and digest new things. Well, there is an instant answer to that. UCLA accepted me last week for its Certificate in Childhood Education program under its Extended Education Dept. What an opportunity to be able to study in the most prestigious university in California!I am so excited!This week, I will be able to enroll hopefully. I decided to take one course for now. I cannot afford to take more than that.

Well, as for our place, our poolhouse is still a mess. I mean, everything is in its right place but I just think Alex and I need a bigger place so we can be more organized. One very good thing about this place though is that we have a pool, just literally 5 steps from our doorstep. Since its summer, I always enjoy swimming there to have my own share of exercise. I love swimming very much that I even bought a Speedo goggles to keep my head safe from hitting the side of the pool which always happened when I close my eyes while swimming. Now with the goggles, I can freely swim around the pool without hurting myself.

Of course, I cannot forget Burbank Library where I frequent on Saturdays. Burbank residents are entitled to borrow 25 books and given 3 weeks before returning them. Libraries are always good to go to. There are always good books to read and new things to know. I am more interested in biographies of known and popular people. Ask me why. Because I am chismosa. Hahahaha.

My choir, Sole Voce of LA, has taken my time too. We have practices every Saturday and Sunday, 3-hr practices on each day. We are all Filipinos from different churches and we go to different churches to sing for the Lord and use our talents. My choirmates are really good singers. There are 20+ of them. Some of them are professional singers. We are eyeing on singing in Georgia next year. This December, we will go to San Francisco to, of course, sing. Sole Voce has become my social circle.

As for my church, I found a family at Burbank SDA Church. We are a small church and everybody feels at home. There is always love in the air and nobody is judged so Alex and I like going there. We are also active in the praise team which has practices every Thursday. We both feel very welcomed and loved under Pastor Jan's sheepfold. Thank you, Jesus.

Alex and I will be celebrating our 1st year anniversary on Sept12! Time flies really fast. Personally, I want to go to San Diego for a weekend getaway but Alex seems like to have some other plans for us. We had a long discussion over this but I think I will just trust him in this. He knows what he's doing. He has a new job now. He is already in the medical field with a team of doctors hiring him. I am so happy for him because he is happy with his job, he is not as stressed as he was in his previous job, thus we can spend more time together. He is also very well-trusted by his employers which is really cool. Plus, there is a very big room for growth.

Many, especially my parents, have been asking me if I am already pregnant. The answer is a big NO. Alex and I do not want to have children yet. We want both of us to be more prepared. We still want to enjoy each other's company. We still want to establish our career. We are young anyway. No reason to rush to have children. In time, we will have Kai and Cinzia.=)

Alex and I during our church's centennial anniversary 2 weeks ago

I miss dreaming

2009-07-14T15:27:00.000-07:00

I have always been a dreamer. I always dream of things I want to achieve in my lifetime but lately, I have not done a lot of dreaming. And I miss it.

It always starts with looking at pictures or hearing stories about this and that. Listening to myself helps too. What do I want to do? How do I myself with years from now?

I have always wanted to travel and here I am, thousands of miles away from my home country. I still want to visit Hawaii, China, Japan, Europe, Canada, Panama, and many more!

I have always liked studying and I wanted to go to the premiere university of the Philippines after high school. Gotcha, I graduated in 2005! Now that I am in California, I want to take further studies in UCLA or CSU or CSULA. I want continuous world-class education!

I have always wanted to marry a nice, decent, conservative, tall, and handsome guy, and I have him now. Alex is one Godsend. Even if he grew up here in the US, he is more conservative than me. He is a strong foundation of our family. We're a great team.=) And everyday, we try our best to make our relationship stronger. I cannot ask for more.

I have always wanted to have a nice house and simple car. Nothing fancy. I am a simple woman. Those are still work in progress.

I want to have a baby for Alex. I cannot imagine myself yet carrying one or breastfeeding him/her. I am not even sure if I will be a good mom. Alex will be a good dad, for sure. Because of the love that we share, I think it's not a bad idea to have a 'souvenir' of the strong bond that we share. As a matter of fact, I am excited to see how our future children would look like. Tall with black hair? Short with black hair? Hairless? Brown skin? dark brown skin? Curly or straight hair? We plan on having two - Kai and Cinzia. While I am concerned on how our children would look like, Alex is more concerned on how are they going to behave. Sigh* So serious..

Let me continue.. I dream of working at a tall and classy corporate building wearing corporate attire with pumps, light makeup, and my laptop. That is the perfect picture for my dream career. I will be well-educated (with a PhD wishfully) with a stable job at a stable and prestigious company.

Dreaming...It feels soo good. It's nice to dream because it makes you focus on what you want to achieve in your life. Dreams all start in the mind, don't they?

hey!

2009-07-10T21:49:00.000-07:00

It's been a long time huh. Well, been going around LA for job interviews. I finally got a job in downtown. It's with an online business company. I am one of the secretaries/clerks who work closely with the owner. I like the job because it is busy and there is no idle time. There are just so many things to do.

Good news!I already passed the California Subject Exam for Teachers (CSET) and I can already teach anywhere in the state. I am actually hoping for a full-time teaching job this coming September but if I cannot, it is still okay. It is still a win-win situation for me. I already have a job. I went to a teaching job interview last Wednesday and I had a 45-minute teaching demo. Well, the experience was really good. Let us wait and see and pray.

So working in the US is not easy. I need to leave the house at 6:30am so I can make it to work at 8am. Every night, I arrive around 7am at home. By that time, I am already tired. But it's still fun to cook and press my housewife mode button whenever I get home. Alex does not arrive until around 7:30pm so I usually make sure food is ready before he arrives.

What else can I say? Well, I need a car soon. I will save up for that.

work permit and SSN aftermath

2009-06-05T21:30:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I got my work permit in April and my social security number 2 weeks ago. Meaning, I can finally look for a job that I want! No. My work permit just simply means I need to work on my desired career and not just any other job. Since I got my work permit, I've always had at least one interview every week. Praise God for that! With the recession and rising unemployment rate in California, my pace is not bad. I give God all the glory for that.

So what is my job now? Well, I am working on becoming a certified teacher. I need to take exams and education units to reach that goal. While I am doing that, people who know me very well know that I cannot just sit down and wait. I need to do SOMETHING. I need to WORK!! So I applied and applied, resulting to interviews scheduled week after week after week.

Week 1 - I was in Oakland with my husband for a job teaching interview. The Oakland Teaching Fellows invited me for a 6-hr interview. After two weeks, they told me I am on the waiting list because the Oakland School District made some budget cuts, but they encouraged me to continue keeping in touch with them because once a slot is opened, they will offer me a teaching position.

Week 2 - I was interviewed for a Receptionist/Marketing Assistant position for a skin care clinic in Glendale. A Filipino aesthetician owned the clinic. They hired me right on the spot. It's part-time and I get to write press releases, assist in marketing, invite more clients to come and avail of our services, etc.

Week 3 - I was interviewed by a staffing company for a Receptionist position at a medical office. The doctor really wants a Filipino receptionist. The interviewer really liked me and he already oriented me how the job should be, the pay, and the employer but...I changed my mind. After all the orientation, he told me I will be working on a Saturday and it is required. I politely told him I am not able to do it for religious reasons. We called it a day. Until now, the position has not been filled up yet.

Week 3 - I went to a building near my husband's workplace. A Marketing firm called me the day before for a Receptionist position but the guy said, my personality fits more for a Marketing position. Two days later, he called me and said I got the job and I will do marketing FULL-TIME. Waaah. I do not think I still want a marketing job. Enough is enough.

Week 4 - I had an interview yesterday for a Teacher Assistant position at a school in North Hills. It's high-performing, especially in Math and Science. Out of almost 20 Teacher Assistant job applications I did last week, only this school replied. This is how hard it is to find a job right now. Anyway, the interview went well. The Principal and the School Coordinator were basically asking me about my teaching experience in Palau. They said I am qualified. They will let me know next week what are the next steps to do. The school district has requirements I need to comply. School starts in September and so I still have time to do all the tests and they still have time to do background checking.

Week 5 - Interview on Monday next week for a Hotel Clerk position. Instructional Aide Test with Burbank Unified School District on Friday.

There you go. I really do not know where will I be in the next days/weeks. Let God lead me. I enjoy doing interviews and jobhunting. How I wish there's a job that entails jobhunting and be paid for doing it forever. I would love to have that job. I love jobhunting so much, but I just hope and pray I will not get stuck doing this for a long time, unpaid and unemployed. Of course, I want to have a stable job with benefits and retirement plan.

Let us wait and see. All I can do is do my best and let God do the rest.

Ok, here are updates.

2009-05-08T21:58:00.000-07:00

Got sick. Whew. I thought it was swine flu but thank God, it's not. I am better now except for the cough.

I have been busy studying for the CSET on May17. I hope and pray I will make it.

The trip to the north was awesome!!

I got my work permit, finally. The jobhunting is on! Well, not until after I finish the test on May17 and I hear from Oakland.

Goals/Prayers: to find a stable job and to normalize my life with Alex.

hello world!

2009-04-16T14:11:00.000-07:00

After almost two years, I had guacamole again today. A friend made one for my lunch. It was really good. It was my first time today to actually like guacamole. Having a Hispanic husband did not work for me before, but homemade guacamole is actually good, I realized. The one I had for lunch today was better than the ones in restaurants. I have always liked avocados and so Diane and I just mashed one avocado, add a little tabasco and salsa, put a little rice vinegar, sprinkle some onions and salt and pepper, and squeeze a lime into it. That's it. My guacamole was perfect. I plan to do it at home so Alex can enjoy it too. With my guacamole was quesadilla with cheddar cheese inside. Hmmm.. It was just perfect!

Anyway, I have been busy lately. I have two, no, three major preparations to do. I will have a 6hr teaching interview on the 26th and I have an interview with the USCIS for my permanent resident status on the 30th.I will do the former in Oakland and the latter in LA. These are places in opposite directions. My mind lately was full of bus and train schedules, hotel bookings, studying, mailing registration materials to Evaluation Systems and my transcript to AERC, following up my registration/application, collecting proofs of union including pics, tax documents, and other papers that are asked for by the immigration. It was fun! I like being busy anyway. Every moment of it was worth it. I like planning and preparing for something good to happen!

And there's this CSET on May 17. Hopefully, the Evaluation Systems would approve my application for alternative testing arrangement. I really cannot take it on a Saturday.

What else? Hmmm.. A close friend and I reconnected after a slight misunderstanding a year ago. We talked for almost 30mins on the phone and it was just like the old days. She just opened an online business called Pinoy Takeout (www.pinoytakeout.com) and this is for OFWS who want to send food and/or flowers to their loved ones in Pinas. So, to all OFWS, check the website out. I personally think the business is a brilliant idea.

I have been toying on the idea of having a 2nd wedding in the Philippines when Alex and I visit Pinas. It will still be a simple one but for sure, my parents and immediate family will be there. All my friends will be invited, and it will be on a beach setting!! Originally, that was what Alex and I wanted but because of money and time constraints, we were not able to do so. I am excited to do it! Hope it will be soon!=)

Speaking of weddings, Alex and I served as emcees of the wedding reception of our friends Eden and Stan on April 5. It was cool that we were able to do it together. My husband was soo good. He made the audience laugh. He just knew what to do when he's in front of people, because he loves to be so. It's so funny that at the end of the celebration, some people asked us, "You two are good together. Are you together?" Alex said, "Yeah, shes my boss." Hahahaha

I will tell stories more next time. I will surely take pics in Oakland! Pray for me guys. I need this teaching job.=)

Eden and Stan's wedding in Riverside

just random thoughts

2009-04-02T13:11:00.001-07:00

Man, it's already April 2! "Time flies so fast" is an understatement. I have been in California for 10 months now and I still feel like I just arrived and I am still new to the place and I just got married. Wow.

My life has been pretty messy here, though. I am still not satisfied with where Alex and I stand right now but so far, we've been blessed. We have surpassed the trials, he has an OK job, we have a church that loves us, we have things we get busy with, we have many things to look forward to. Just when I was so depressed one day, we received a letter from USCIS about our scheduled interview on April30, and two months of waiting time is blessing enough compared with 6months to 2 years for others! God is still very good to us. In my 10-month stay here, He has taught me patience because I do not have that. My friends, family, and husband know that. I wanted to work so badly though I should not. I wanted to adjust with American life right away though I have only been here for a short time and I do not even go out that much. So many things I want to do but I cannot. I am still a baby in this country. It takes time to grow up. Patience, Rica. It pays to be patient.I have been praying hard to be one and so far, God has been helping me. So happy..It has results I did not imagine to see.

April 30 would be a turning point for me. After that, the challenge of getting a job begins. The journey of getting to the real world starts. I am anxious. I do not know what will happen, what career path will I be in, who are the people I will be with, where will I be..or, will I even get a job?? In California alone, the unemployment rate is 10%. That is high. Even degree holders lost their jobs due to recession. Even government employees arent secured anymore. It's a scary reality. So many uncertainties lie ahead. To whom will I hold on to? My husband is here, very supportive, very encouraging, loving, and he's been a very good guide to me, but he cannot help me in the fulfillment of my dreams. He can encourage me all he wants but it's still me and our God who can make everything possible. I need to use my knees and have the faith that everything will get in place in His own time. I have been in this state before, when you're on a dead end and you do not know what's next to happen. Worse, you're blindfolded. At that point in 2007, God and I were holding hands on that dead end and He opened a door for me in Palau. All the while I thought I'd only stay in my home country but God did something out of the blue, a very good opportunity for me to explore the world and appreciate Him more. I feel like I am on a dead end right now, holding hands with God and waiting where He would lead me. Just like what He did to me before, I am sure He will do a beautiful surprise to me again, a life that is in tune with His will. It's about time, Lord. I cannot wait until that interview ends. I cannot wait until you'll show me where to go and what to do!!! I cannot wait! Ooops, I mean, I will wait.=)

2009 will be a challenge. Get it on!

2009-03-23T10:07:00.000-07:00

You are Charlie Brown:
You are tender, you fall in love quickly but you are also very serious about all relationships. . You are a family person. You call your Mom every Sund ay. You have many friends and may occasionally forget a few Birthdays. Don't let your passion confuse you with reality.

This is so true!!

***

My worst week was last week. It's my worst week ever since I arrived in the USA. I was just put in a spot that I became uncomfortable with and I was in misery. Something came up that got in the way of my family. My daily routine was ruined and that results to me freaking out.

I hope this week will be a better week. Please, Lord..

B-U-S-Y

2009-03-19T13:23:00.001-07:00

I just realized today that I am a busy person. I actually do a lot of things. Look.

1. I am studying Language and Literacy Education in UPOU. Mind you, UPOU is demanding too.
2. I am reviewing for CBEST, the first 4-hr test I need to pass to become a certified California teacher. It will be in April.
3. I have a choir who does church-hopping almost every Saturday. Search for SOLE VOCE OF LOS ANGELES in youtube and you'll see how serious we are in God's ministry. We're eyeing on 4 concerts this year. The first one will be on the march 28.
4. I help my husband make money.
5. I have a husband to take care of. He does not require me to do so but I want to.

Wow, I cannot believe I actually have a lot of things in my hands. Once again, I have proven to myself I cannot be idle. I hate being idle.

***

Pray for me, guys. My greencard interview with my husband is on April 30.

argh!!!!

2009-03-03T15:38:00.000-08:00

I was so mad last night. 'The Bachelor' is such a jerk.

He proposed to Melissa at the show's finale then he changed his mind 6 weeks later because he realized it's Molly he's in love with. What kind of guy is that?

DO not get me wrong, Melissa and Molly are two great girls. They are loveable and mature enough to handle a relationship but Jason, the guy, is such a fickle. Argh. I hate guys like that. He does not know how to take care of a girl's heart.

He already proposed to Melissa so he should be responsible enough to be true to his words. I like what Melissa said about engagement and marriage as a one-time thing. It's one stage in a person's life that you should not play with or take for granted. When you're engaged, you are already committed. There's no turning back. There's no backing out. If feelings change, work for it. Feelings come and go. Love is a decision. It's not based on feelings. I do not think Jason is ready for a commitment. Look, he is divorced and that means he can easily break a promise. And now, he breaks off an engagement. Again, he can easily break a promise. What kind of guy is that?

I like Melissa's parting words, "Do not call me. Do not text me anymore. Leave me alone, please." That was strong. That was courage.

If I were Molly, I'd have 2nd thoughts of accepting Jason back. She really should know more about him. His commitment is unquestionable. He can easily dump something. He can easily leave someone he promised the world to. He does not know what he is talking about. DOes he know what really love is? His statement, "Wish I can control what I feel. Wish I can control my mind" does not tell a person who knows what love is. Feelings are just part of love, but they are not the main ingredient of such a beautiful thing and so, yes, Jason, you can control your mind and heart by being responsible and mature. Grow up, man.

I have been with jerks before. They said they loved me but they're not strong enough to fight for the relationship with me. They did not know how to be the leaders of the relationship. They did not know how to care of my feelings. They did not know how to be responsible. Actually, they did not know what love is. I am so blessed to have ended up with Alex. Even if we have ups and downs, we always work for our relationship, and he leads the way. Love is an everyday thing. It's not an easy road to take but because we are committed to work it out, we are happy with each other every single day.

Love is commitment. Love is a principle. Love is a decision. Make that decision and the feelings will just follow.

conversations

2009-02-25T19:53:00.000-08:00

One night, Alex was really sleepy while I was still studying..

Alex: Langga, goodnight. Dream of me tonight.
Rica: What? YOU dream of me.
Alex: That's the plan. (zzzz)

***

Last Saturday, I was torn between going to observe my choir in Palos Verdes church or meeting Alex's dad and brother. They're driving one hour from Lancaster just to see us.

Rica: Believe me, I want to hang out with your dad, but, just curious, are you open to the possibility of me going with the choir while you meet with your dad and brother to have guys' hang out?

Alex: Yeah.(pause) But I won't be happy.

So I stayed and waited for his family to arrive.=)

marriage

2009-02-13T16:06:00.000-08:00

Marriage is hard. Now I believe my mom when she told me that.

Do not get me wrong, I do not regret marrying my husband. He's the best for me. I know I could not find anyone who's as nice, understanding, loving, and smart as him. Everybody, including those Filipina women in church, who knows him always tell me, "He's nice. You made a good choice." I know I made the right choice. No doubt about that. But we're still two different people with our own likes and dislikes. Everyday, we communicate. We re-commit. We flirt. We laugh. We hug. Sometimes we argue. We cry. We get tired and frustrated. This is marriage and I am very much ready to continue facing this big forever partnership.

Though I am an optimist, I worry too. And pessimism comes with worry. And when pessimism strikes, it's so hard for me to rise and move on. I sink more than I rise. So starting today, I am going to make changes. I am going to dwell on positive things that are happening everyday in our marriage and the efforts of my husband to keep our love alive.

After all, this is how Philippians 4:8 says. "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."

I have realized something since I said, "I do" to Alex on September 12 of last year: Marriage is only for the strong people. I am glad I am married. =)

Happy Hearts day to my provider, friend, confidant, counselor, lover, listener, fan, supporter, partner, and spiritual partner Pierre-Alexander Glaze!

i messed up..

2009-02-11T18:18:00.000-08:00

it's just very easy to make, but i messed up with my deviled eggs. it's supposed to look like this but mine's just, hmmm..messy and looks lousy.so frustrating.

as usual, alex was understanding about it but i didnt like it. i should have boiled the eggs a little longer, mixed the ingredients more thoroughly.sigh* next time..next time..

25 things

2009-02-09T16:35:00.000-08:00

1. I used to have 50+ penpals in elementary and high school. i would not spend my daily allowance for snacks. instead ill use it for stamps. i’d go to the post office during recess to mail my letters. Crazy me.

2. Because I had a lot of penpals, I used to collect stamps from the letters they sent me. It was so fun! I would cut the stamps from the letter and soak them in water to separate them from the envelope. then I’d dry them under the sun. This was my sense of fun.

3. I started getting interested in geography at 10 when miss universe was held in manila in 2004. I was reallya amazed with the number of countries represented by different women with different looks, so I started looking at maps and atlases to locate those places. There I knew there are 7 continents and different cultures from different countries.

4. If I was under College of Social Sciences and Philosophy in college, I’d surely be a Sociology major. If I was into medicine, I’d want to be an OB-Gyne. Don’t know why.

5. I was not a good big sister to my younger siblings. apathetic. But now, we’ve really grown close.

6. after my graduation, I started paying the tuition fees of my younger siblings.

7. tall guys have always been my type, I just did not expect God would give me a 6’7 man. He’s the tallest man I’ve ever seen! Guys who are good in basketball are also my type but my husband doesn’t play the game. He's into soccer.

8. In college, I sold dewberry cookies.hahaha. it's either for an org's fundraising or personal needs.remember, batchmates? gosh, shameful days.hheheeh.

9. i have never liked berries - strawberries, blueberries, blackberries, either the real fruit or flavor.

10. i am a good liar. very good liar.

11. I was a broadcast communication major but ive never worked in productions since graduation EXCEPT when my boss in an ad agency where i worked part time as communication officer asked me to direct and write the script of a PhilSci AVP. it ended really good. the faculty and staff of the school liked it so much.

12. i knew i should have done more productions because i studied them for 4 years but God led me to teaching. I taught one sem in Ateneo de Davao, 3 sems in UP Mindanao, and one full school year in Palau. I taught 6th grade in Palau SDA School, a mission school.

13. I like reality shows - Homeland Security, The Bachelor, Pinoy Big Brother.

14. the best place ive ever been to is palau, a small island in micronesia.it's stress-free, very simple,full of natural resources, ocean and sunset is glorious, clean and marvelous beaches. It’s just wonderful! i had lived without cellphone and TV for a year, and I had never craved.

15. during college when everybody was talking about their plans after grad, i'd plan to go back home because 'davao needs me.' i was known for that line. hahaha.

16. i went to law school for 2months in ateneo. that was a great experience!i liked the adrenaline rush during recits.i liked staying in the library from 7am to 5pm everyday reading and studying and photocopying cases. scra was my bestfriend!!man, i miss those days!well, i stopped due to sabbath probs. sad.

17. without my parents' knowledge, i wrote their love story as an entry to chowking's greatest love story contest in february 2006. a few weeks later, my dad was surprised to have received a phone call from chowking saying they won in a love story making contest. chowking sent us lotsa gift certificates!!!

18. my favorite house chore is folding clothes. lavit!

19. i only learned to eat cereal, spinach, bell peppers, onions, celery, and hot pockets when i arrived in california last year.

20. im enjoying my studies in UP Open Univ very much!!!i didnt expect my gad studies would turn out this exciting!my major is Language and Literacy Educ.

another desperate attempts

2009-02-04T08:09:00.001-08:00

so last night, i watched homeland security again. my eyes were all on TV, never did I leave even during commercial breaks. I would not want to miss any detail of the show. That's how much I like the show. I can feel thrill, challenge, fun, and seriousness at the same time.

Here are a few of the real-life situations that were shown last night:

1. Puerto Rico is already a US island territory so once you step there, you're already in US, though it's not part of the mainland. 93 Dominicans were spotted on a sinking boat by a high-tech manless plane that has high-end microscopes connected to the Customs and Border Patrol on land. They were headed towards Puerto Rico, hoping they'd get a better life. On their way, winds were strong and waves were angry. Their lives were at risk. US Coast Guard and Customs collaborated to save those 93 people. They sent a bigger boat in the middle of the night and off they headed back to Dominican Republic to return the hopeful illegal migrants. There were mothers and father, young men and women,and teenagers on that sinking boat. Already safe, a few people were interviewed and they said that looking for a better life and future is what pushed them to go to Puerto Rico. They wanted to leave Dominican Republic because there are no jobs there, no future, no improvement. I could empathize with these people.Sigh*

The US Coast Guard learned that the leader of their illegal adventure to Puerto Rico is the man whom they have been looking for since 1998 because of human smuggling, big-time smuggler he is. After arriving in Dominican Republic, ten of the 93 passengers, including that big-time smuggler, were sent back to US for federal punishment because of their criminal records. They're now detained.

2. In Miami airport, while passengers were getting their things from the luggage area, the airport alarm sounded off. All TSA people, Border agents, and other security officials were alarmed and shooed all the passengers to leave the area. A certain travel bag was suspicious. It was the cause of the alarm. They found it and all of them were anxious what's in it. They called a Drugs and Narcotics representative and another who's trained in Explosives. They would not open the bag until those who are called would arrived. Everybody was nervous. They're all serious. What could be in the bag? It could not be something light because the airport alarm went off. They found the owner of the bag and he's a crippled man. He was interrogated and compelled to open the bag. All eyes were on the bag, all mouths shut up, everybody was anxious and silent...they're all waiting for the owner to open his bag. The man's hand went down the bag and guess what he got from down there? Hmmm... A massager!!It was vibrating and so it sent signals around the area which caused the alarm to sound off. I could hear every official made a sigh of relief. The supervisor then shouted, "Everything cleared." And they all went back to their work. Whew.

3. A huge truck was passing by the border of Mexico and Texas. The driver was stopped for inspection. He was detained for a few hours for interrogation because up in his truck, a family was found - the parents and their son. The driver claimed he didnt know anything how the family got in there. Both parties were interviewed separately and the man was released and allowed to go to US after he convinced the Border agents about his innocence. The family, on the other hand, was sent back to Mexico. I cannot believe people can do that, risking a fellow's integrity for their selfish desires.

These are just a few of the stories featured last night. I cannot wait for next week's episode!

Homeland Security USA

2009-01-28T09:26:00.001-08:00

I have a new favorite TV show and the title of this entry is the show itself. As I always tell Alex, I like reality shows. Homeland Security USA depicts real life situations that happen in international airports, borders, and other entry points of legal and illegal aliens getting to US. It is very challenging to watch how border patrol agents and members of TSA detect suspicious travellers and drug lords crossing the border to the US. I will tell you some situations in the last three episodes showing how desperate and stupid people can be in their desire to enter this country.

1. There is this Hispanic man in an JFK airport in NY that was about to throw up while waiting for his luggage. The TSA members were alarmed and guided him to a bathroom. Still he did not feel well. So he sent him to a doctor who performed an Xray of his stomach. Alas, 28 1.5-inch pellets were found inside him! They guided him to the bathroom again and asked him to throw them all up. He released 5 of them. When TSA inspected what the pellets are, they discovered there's heroine inside!Sigh* All 28 pellets in his tummy is worth $100,000!!! Stupid.Stupid.Stupid.

2. Another interesting situation happened in the border between US and Mexico. A woman was walking to a bridge that connected the two countries. What caught the border patrol agents' attention was, she was covering her mouth with a mask. They confronted her about it and did interrogation. She removed her mask and claimed she had a dental work done. She even showed the cotton inside her mouth. When the agents asked for her green card, she showed them a card with a different face. The face on the greencard looks chubbier and cheeky, so that explains why she was wearing a mask and pretended to have dental work while crossing the borders so her face would appear cheeky and chubbier. She said somebody sold the greencard to her and the money she spent for that was her savings for 5yrs. She looked sincere and telling the truth. Her face was not a face of a deceitful woman. She said she did not know what to do in Mexico after they'd release her. She does not have family anymore. When she was about to cry, the agents started going to the bathroom one by one to wipe their tears. They understood the situation but they had to do their job. They let her go back to Mexico with good and encouraging words.

3. One car in US-Mexico border 120 miles from San Diego was about to pass inspection successfully when a K-9 dog approached the car and would not let go. The dog went round and round the vehicle. The agents were concerned because they already inspected everything in the car and the driver was cleared. But the dog knew more than that. It smelled the tires one by one, and round and round the car. The agents went to touch the tires and there, they sensed something inside. They cut one of the rubber tires and there, they saw packets of drugs. Man, another desperate guy. So they led the driver aside and did processing.

These are just some of the situations shown in my new favorite show. Reality. Drama. Challenge. Intellect. Instinct. They're all in Homeland Security USA.

I want to be a border patrol someday!=)

i miss emilia.

2009-01-18T21:24:00.001-08:00

Emilia was my favorite singer in high school. I really liked her song "Big, Big World" which was a hit in the US and UK before. I forgot about her for years after high school and today I looked for her in youtube. I found out she recorded more songs and produced more albums. I listened to some of her new songs and I realized I still like her, she is still my favorite. Her songs are pop-like and the messages deal with coping with real-life situations. They are also about being positive in life and being good about yourself. They are encouraging and inspiring, that's why I like them. This is one of her songs that I like, "Good sign."

Isn't she good? Isn't she pretty too? She's half-Ethiopian, half-Swedish.She is so simple too. She does not need heavy makeup and extravagant and sexy clothes to send her message across.=) I love Emilia now.

2008 talk

2009-01-01T17:38:00.000-08:00

What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before?
Staying in US for 6months.. travelling on a train for 7hours alone and penniless (but with ticket,of course)..Getting married. Yeah, I was never married before.

Did you keep your New Year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year? Didn’t have resolutions, only goals. I did not expect though I'd change my mind in not finishing my contract in Palau.

Did anyone close to you give birth? Yes, Pastor Edgar's wife in Arizona! Finally, an angel came after 3 failed pregnancies.

Did anyone close to you die?
Thankfully, no.

What countries did you visit?
Early January, I was going back to Palau through Japan and Philippines. From then on to May, I was in Palau. June, I was in Davao. The last half, I was in US. Stopovers: Guam and Hawaii.

What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
Maturity.

What date from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Sept 12, 2008 - I became Mrs. Glaze!Yay!

What was your biggest achievement of the year?
My marriage with my loving husband.

What was your biggest failure?
Not finishing my missionary contract in Palau. I needed to go.=(

Did you suffer illness or injury?
Sprained ankle because of too much excitement to chat with my then-boyfriend.

What was the best thing you bought?
A $79 dress, more expensive than my wedding dress. Waaah.

Whose behavior merited celebration?
My brother in law's. He just started dating after 8 long years. What's amazing is that, the girl is my close friend.

Whose behavior appalled you and made you depressed?
Mr. J's in Palau..A jerk.

Where did most of your money go?
Saving for my change of status. Whew.

What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Travelling to another countries! Studying in UPOU!

What song/s will always remind you of 2008?
Still thinking.

Compared to the previous years, are you:
a. Happier or sadder? Happier.
b. Thinner or fatter? Fatterrrrr.
c. Richer or poorer? Richer, but still not enough, US-wise.

What do you wish you'd done more of?
Saving money. Pray more.

What do you wish you'd done less of?
Wasting time being angry and jealous of someone who does not even deserve my attention.

How did you spend Christmas?
With Alex's family over turkey, salad, pumpkin pie, and lemonade. The roasted turkey is the best!

Did you fall in love in 2008?
Yes, with my husband again and again.

What was your favorite TV program?
PDA and a telenovela of Claudine's. I watched them over pinoychannel.tv. I am very fond of Grey's Anatomy now.

Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Hmmm...not really.

What was the best book you read?
I have read some books but they're not really good.

What was your greatest musical discovery?
Singing.=)

What did you want and get?
Visa and marriage.

What did you want and not get?
Work permit.

Favorite film of this year?Have not watched a lot of movies.

What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
My mom prepared food and invited my high school friends at the last minute. My mom's the best! I was 24.

What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
A career that would satisfy me personally and financially.

How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?No fashion sense, but I am learning to dress according to the different 4 seasons though.

What kept you sane?
God and His promises.

Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Alicia Keys. Patrick Dempsey.Just because of their looks.

What political issue stirred you the most?
Prop 8

Who did you miss?
My family back in davao!

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008.
Do not stop dreaming and setting goals.

Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
Cant think of anything.

The most touching experience you've had in 2008?
Surprising Alex with his favorite San Jose Sharks jacket.

What did you like most about yourself in 2008?
Was still goal-oriented.

What did you hate most about yourself this year?
That I couldnt control my emotions. I still easily get emotional.

Was 2008 a good year for you?
Yes. Too many challenges.=)

i miss pinas!!!

2008-12-30T12:40:00.001-08:00

since i came here in the US, i have never seen a Tv commercial that makes me laugh or impressed me. Commercials here are bleh. I miss Pinoy commercials. I just knew that this Obama commercial just came out in the Philippines and boy, it is goood...Click and watch!=)

do i deserve this, Lord?

2008-12-22T23:11:00.000-08:00

first quarter of Mrs. Glaze

2008-12-16T09:16:00.000-08:00

So, last friday, when I got home, Alex told me we're going to Denny's and I hesitated. I did not see any reason why we had to go, anyway, we're saving up for something big next year. I was in my usual 'kulit' self on our way there. "Are you promoted? Is it Papi's or Mami's bday? Is Ariel (his brother) there? What's with December 12?"

He said, "I will just tell you when we get there. So if I were you, I will stop guessing."

When we arrived and after ordering cranberry juice for him and orange juice for me, he held my hands and said, "It's our first quarter together as husband and wife. I want to celebrate." I almost cried. "Thank God, we still do not hate each other." I smiled. I hugged him tight and we enjoyed our husband-and-wife conversation over tilapia with rice and beans for him and nachos with jalapeno and beef and sour cream for me.and oh, the all-time favorite of mine, garlic bread. it was almost 10pm and it was not wise for both of us to get stuffed. when we were on our way home, i asked him, "did any box arrive today?" he said, "yes, but I did not open it because I did not know to whom it was for." I just said, "Good. We will open it together."

I was glad it arrived that Friday. I knew it was the box I longed to arrive. It's my Christmas gift to Alex from NHL. It's a San Jose Sharks jacket he always looked at online and told me, "Isn't it nice, Langga?" But I usually brushed him off to give him the impression that I am not so interested about it, but little did he know at the back of my mind I was already planning to buy it and had it delivered in our doorstep.

When we arrived home, I told Alex calmly, "Why didnt you open it? It said it's for you." He was surprised because every time a box arrived from the post office or UPS, it was always for me. It would either be a gift from friends or relatives. So he did not bother to open the box the first he saw it. I said, "Open it. It must be something special."

He slowly opened the box and his eyes widely opened when he saw the turquoise/teal jacket from San Jose Sharks, his favorite ice hockey team! I said, "Merry Christmas, cielito! It's my Christmas gift!" He closed the box, sat beside me, and gave me the warmest hug in the world. He was teary-eyed when he said, "Thank you." I said, "You deserve it. Try it on. I am sure it looks good on you." Like a little boy receiving a toy he likes, he excitedly wore it and made a model-like pose in front of me. Hahaha. He was soo funny. "My wife gave this to me!!!" he shouted. He wore the jacket even when he went to sleep and he was hyper the whole weekend. =)

I am so happy to have made Alex happy. He has been so dead tired and stressed out everyday because of work and he really deserves to be happy. He will wear the jacket on March15, when we'll watch the San JOse Sharks Games in Anaheim. Cooool. I will surely post a picture here of him wearing it. For now, I can only show you the jacket.=)

It surely looks good with his color huh? =) Happy 1st quarter cielito..

manicure.pedicure.facial.massage.

2008-12-03T11:52:00.001-08:00

wow, that felt sooo good yesterday!I had my first spa treatment yesterday since i arrived here in californi. it was amazing. it felt so relaxing. finally i managed to go to a spa all by myself and no worries how much i'd pay. (it was not as expensive as i expected it to be.)hope i can do it again with alex next time..

im in riverside, california and i love the weather of the desert! it's warm during the day, it's cold at night! it's soothing because it's not cool all day long unlike in LA and camarillo. i love desert life now, plus the cost of living is low.

i cant make a christmas wish list, money just doesnt allow. alex and i are prioritizing some things that need to be done soon - my papers, his studies, paying off debts and bills.thats it.

life is challenging here in US. it's not heaven, but it's not hell either. it's just different.well, im still on the adjustment phase. i have only been here for 5 months. im still hopeful things will get better as time goes by...indeed, my life is in His hands.=)

same sex marriage

2008-11-13T19:01:00.000-08:00

This is a controversial issue here in california. on the election day, the YES votes - banning of same sex marriage - prevailed with a slim edge. Slim or not, deep inside my heart, I am happy with the outcome.

Alex voted no. His dad voted no too, though they both are personally against it. They said, they cannot impose their moral/religious standards on anybody and any person can do whatever he/she wants. The government should not stop them. God even gives us the freedom of choice. He does not stop/compel anyone to do something, but everybody should keep in mind that every choice has consequences. I respect my husband and father-in-law for their inner sentiments.

But I have my own stand too. When Alex and I applied for a marriage license in Norwalk, LA's big registry center, we saw many gay and lesbian couples lining up with us. Same sex marriages were still accepted that time for 4 months. It was soo new to me. When we got married in Lancaster, the officiating officer said we were the best-looking couple of the day because we were the only heterosexual pair who got married in Lancaster that day. I agree with her. I still believe in traditional marriage and the beautiful marriage God officiated in the Garden of Eden was for Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve. It's as simple as that.I am not ready yet to see homosexual marriages legalized here in california.

Forgive me for being different but I am at peace with my choice to say Yes to banning of same sex marriage. Democracy has spoken. The people's message was clear. Be at peace with it too.

it rained!!!

2008-10-31T09:12:00.000-07:00

i woke up at 7:10 am today and (lazily) did my devotionals. when I went out to open the door and get the morning paper, i heard the rain. finally, i saw the rain showers i always wished for 4 months now. yay!!! it's a dream come true. coming from two tropical countries in the past year, i miss rain! ive never seen rain since i left palau and philippines.the feel of the wet grass you step on is the one i miss most. well, california does not experience rain showers all the time. in fact, when it rains, it doesn't pour. so this morning, the rain stopped a few minutes after.;( that's it. that's the california rain. the good thing is, it was enough to wet the ground!ill go for a walk in a little while. the smell of the wet leaves falling from the trees and the sight of squirrels jumping around the village are enough to make my day. Thank God!

surprises!

2008-10-07T10:31:00.001-07:00

Last Friday on my way back to Burbank, I met a Turkish lawyer who was so uncomfortable speaking in English. I befriended her and we talked so many things about our travelling experiences and a few info about our personal lives. She was with her parents who do not speak English at all and her 18yr old brother.We talked about US and how it's a so-so country and I learned that she speaks Spanish and French fluently. She said she likes France so much and wants to live there again. What interests me most is that she has travelled to almost all countries in the world. I showed her my Palau pictures in my laptop and she said with conviction, "I will definitely visit that island." (Sorry Pinas, it's not you, whom I showed)

While we were busy knowing more about each other, my phone rang. It's my husband. He asked me what station I already was and why didnt I give him a ring when I got on the train. I laughed and promised to tell him the reason later when I see him at my destination station. (I was busy talking with my new friend!) We fianlly said our 143s and hung up. Three minutes later, he called again, asking me what part of the train I was sitting because he said, he needs to tell the ticketing officer of the station where he's at for our train tickets for the next day's travel to Northern calfiornia, and I said, "You know I like being on the 2nd floor. What are you talking about?" He said he's just making sure. We hung up and I got busy talking again. I explained to my new friend who the caller was and that he's picking me up at the next station. A few minutes later, I noticed three guys walking past by me in the aisle. They were on their backs. The first two guys are the train conductors, they were wearing their cool white uniforms. The last and tallest guy behind them was carrying flowers and I could see the red roses in front of him even if he was on his back. Then I realized that the jacket the guy was wearing was soo familiar. Then suddenly, the guy turned around...and..and..it's ALEX!!! He said, "There you are!" and the two conductors in front of him asked, "So did you find her?" I was blushing when Alex gave me the red roses. I was soo happy to see him. My new friend was even more surprised at first. She asked for confirmation if he's my husband. RIght when I said yes, she readily spoke to him in Spanish. One minute later, we had finally arrived at Burbank station and while we were on our way down, the passengers were looking at us, smiling. I was already carrying the twelve sweet-smelling red roses. I was sooo happy! It was a very pleasant surprise!

What is interesting is, I made it official after our wedding 3 weeks ago that Alex is bad at surprises because he hasnt been successful yet in surprising me. It turns out, he's not bad at it after all.=)

Thank you so much, Cielito! You make me soo happy! I love you!

three months and marriage..

2008-09-28T11:12:00.000-07:00

Three months have passed since I arrived at the peaceful domestic airport of LAX (yes, it's domestic because I flew in from hawaii). Too many things have changed and I do understand, Lord, that everything's part of a bigger picture.=)

I am a married woman now. When Alex's brother and dad introduced us in different occasions as "this is my brother/son and his wife," all emotions sank in my heart. I could not believe what I just heard. I am Alex's wife now - his bestfriend, lover, roommate, help mate, cook, house keeper, nanny of our children. Though he doesnt like me hearing from me those last three roles, I still consider myself as so. It's being part of loving him and the family we're building.

So I cried 80% of the time during the ceremony. I can't help it. I am just glad I didnt wear too much makeup on that day. Simple is beautiful, as they say. Oh well..that's just my excuse because honestly, I do not know how to put on makeup on my own. But Alex likes simple. My wedding dress we both bought on the wedding day itself was simple. My makeup was simple. The ceremony was simple. The reception at Panda Inn organized by the Harrises was simple. The cake was simple. Everything was simple as we wanted it to be. And, oh, our dwelling place is simple. I am just glad it has a swimming pool for me to unwind and maintain my exercises.

This is it. This is the real world. Marriage is not always a bed of roses. I knew that even before I jumped into the bed. That's why I mustered enough courage and faith before signing the papers. I read what Michelle Eimeren, Ogie Alcasid's wife, said in Philippine Star online today and I think it will be a good motto if you've just started marriage. It said, "Life is short, so why dwell on the negative?" I smiled and nodded like July 4th.=)

I also read from CNN an article about keeping the marriage alive. The secret? Be quiet. That makes me laugh. But it is not kidding. That is indeed the secret of making a marriage work. It's connection that matters. Read the article at http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/personal/09/26/o.improve.your.marriage/index.html and tell me what you think.

Before our first anniversarry on Sept12 next year, I will be a better woman and wife hopefully. I want to see a stronger and more loving Rica Glaze than she is today. Also, I hope and pray that the little hopes and dreams I share with Alex will come true.

Life is short, so why dwell on the negative? =)

the small BIG day

2008-09-16T14:07:00.000-07:00

A big big blessing was poured on me and my ex-boyfriend (now my husband) last Friday.

Here's the story..

I got a job and I believe this job's for me. With this job, I have to live with my employer and I have my weekends off. Every Friday, I go to the place I share with my husband and return every Sunday night. I always take the train. It is faster and cheaper than my husband driving me to and fro. Last Friday, two trains collided in one of the stations i pass by every train trip i take. 25 died and 138 were seriously injured. The latter are still in hospitals as of the moment.

Our wedding was originally scheduled on Sept 5 but no matter what my husband and I do, we could not make it happen. There were obstacles and all doors were closed on that day so we decided to do it on sept12 which is last friday. Last week, I traveled back home on Thursday night, instead of Friday, because of our wedding the next day. Friday came and while we were on our way to Panda Inn for the wedding reception in the afternoon, my brother-in-law called informing us about the said train collision in Chatsworth. And my heart started to beat so fast. I was supposed to be in that train if it were not for the wedding. Whew. God is amazing! He led Alex and me to set the final date of our wedding. If we didn't listen to Him, I could be dead by now. I could not believe what had happened. My life is, indeed, in His hands.

Praise God for everything, guys! Pray without ceasing! Tonight before you sleep, I woud really appreciate it if you include me in your thanksgiving prayers. Thank you so much!

By the way, the wedding was great! Everything was so simple as what Alex and I wanted. His family was there and supportive. The wedding day was more spiritual than social, which we like so much. We can't stop praising Him!!

So, friends, please welcome MR. AND MRS. ALEX GLAZE!!!!

two months..

2008-08-24T12:28:00.000-07:00

Ok, so two months have passed since I arrived and many things had happened. I couldn't believe it because they are good things! Too many things to look forward to and God has been perfect in making things and schedules in order! Thank God for that! There were times that I doubted His will and emotions came ahead of my mind. I lost pails of tears I saved for the future. But God made things brighter and clearer. Some things are meant to happen and they will happen, in His own time.

So, plans 1 and 2 will be soon, in 2 weeks even. Also, God provided plan 3 even before plans 1 and 2 occurred. Isn't that great? Plan 3 will happen today. Alex and his brother will drive me to Camarillo. They said it's a beautiful part of California and most people living there are rich. Hmm..interesting. But I am just glad doors are opening for me and alex, with God's leading.

More blessings are coming!! Thank you God!!

one month..

2008-07-23T23:34:00.000-07:00

today marks my first month in US and so far it has been good. nothing bad happened so far and for that I am thankful. i am just looking forward to some events that are yet to come.:)

well, as my fiance reminds me, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and LEAN NOT ON YOUR UNDERSTANDING. In all your ways, acknowledge Him and He will direct your path." Emphasis on the LEAN NOT ON YOUR OWN UNDERSTANDING because we humans tend to believe we can do everything without Him when in fact without Him, everything would be impossible. Well, God knows He has to do something big soon so I am patiently waiting for that. As the song says, "In His time, He makes all things beautiful..in His time.."

Blessings for the past month:

1. I arrived in this foreign country safely. Guam and Hawaii were my stopovers. Two beautiful islands!!
2. I met the love of my life once again and we were together for 2 weeks.
3. A job offer came.:)
4. I was able to ride a train for 7hours - broke and alone.
5. I am the first relative to see Kian, my new cousin.
6. New friends from my UPOU classes!
7. I gained my uncle and auntie's trust.:)
8. There is a tree full of ripe peaches at the backyard of their house. Amazing!
9. There's an apple tree too!!!
10. Initially, I am going back to Burbank on August 10.

It is sad to note that this is my first year since I graduated in 2005 that I wont be teaching. I miss teaching. Well, california requires 2 exams and 12 units in order to be a credentialed teacher here. So, Rica, soon and very soon...

I am hoping and praying that from today and until next month, more changes will happen.more good things will be in my hands. I am hopeful, very hopeful.

EQ daw

2008-07-21T18:25:00.001-07:00

Your EQ is 127

You usually have it going on emotionally, but roadblocks tend to land you on your butt.

On an average day, you're quite happy, together, and content. You live your life well.

Your emotions aren't always stable, but you can go along with the ups and downs pretty well.

You tend to be motivated, energetic, focused, and level headed.

You see the world pretty rationally, and you don't tend to over dramatize things. When things are bad, you know they eventually have to get better.

What's Your EQ (Emotional Intelligence Quotient)?

updates :)

2008-07-02T16:39:00.000-07:00

1. I am really enjoying my online studies! my course PSYCHOLOGY OF READING is a blast!! i am sure dennis will agree with me about this.
2. i am in US now - bum, unemployed, idle. oh well, ive only been here for a week so what do i expect?
3. i am not yet married.:)
4. i went through guam and hawaii on my way to LA. hawaii is amazing!!! (i dont have pics to show. sorry.)
5. i am always alone at home. everybody is working.it's good there's a pool in the lawn.
6. it is sooooo hot here. mas mainit pa sa manila right at this very moment. whew. buti nalang may pool.
7. alex's landlady is soo nice to me.
8. next week, i will be in modesto to visit my uncle elbert. his wife is giving birth. i will be staying there for 2months. i will take the train next week - alone!!
9. The People's Court is the show I always watch. :)
10. I still feel I am in the Philippines.

Thank you for the prayers! More prayers this time..:)

kayangel, palau

2008-05-05T00:25:00.000-07:00

talking about challenges...

2008-04-23T01:06:00.000-07:00

Yes, i am not a perfect teacher but i have been trying my best to be one great teacher for my 25 sixth graders here in palau. So far, everything has been good. even if my kids think im no fun teacher but i know they are learning and what's good is, they are aware of it.

I have the biggest class in the school. yes, 25 isnt that big compared to what i had back in UP but in Palau, that number is big deal. These are not college kids whom you'll just say, "Study this and we'll discuss this tomorrow" or "Read pages blah to blah and make a reaction paper out of it." These are 25 hyperactive kids who need love, care, and understanding. If spoonfeeding is needed, I have to do it. Since the schoolyear started, the principal mr. nelson kept on apologizing to me since they couldn't find another teacher who could teach half of my class. you see, palau sda school is a mission school and 3/4 of its teachers are student missionaries from all over the world. each grade level too has 2 sections. only the 6th grade level has no section B this year.

as for me, i could handle the kids. but i get stricter everyday. i get firmer too. which the kids hate so much. i think it's because of their number. 25 hyper kids isnt easy to handle. like a hen, i should gather my chicks and not allow anyone to wander. because i got stricter and firmer as days went by, i got more tired too at the end of each day. it takes so much effort to be strict and firm, you know. so when someone from england wrote mr.nelson last december to volunteer for the school, he readily accepted him. i was so happy too. finally, i could have someone to help me out with my students. he could teach some of the subjects. he could check some of the papers.i am excited for my kids too. a new teacher would be so much fun in class.

liam arrived from england right after the 3rd quarter, during the spring break. he was in egypt last year teaching in a sudanese refugee school. he's 19years old. his interesting accent entice the kids right away. my girls started flirting with him. he teaches okay though sometimes the kids couldnt understand him easily. while i was busy directing the school play in the afternoon, he is teaching my afternoon classes. days passed, parent after parent called the school office. most of them emailed me too. they all expressed negative remarks about the new teacher. he speaks bad words calling my kids B**** and mentions F*** while teaching, he brings his iPOD in school and makes the kids listen to not-so-good music, he brings his laptop and makes them watch american pie, he is disorganized with the lessons, he just let the kids do their own and not monitor them, etc. i was stressed out. the principal didn't know what to do. so these complaints are the reasons when i noticed my kids were getting uncontrollable and wilder these past few days. it was so hard for me to calm them down. before, if i'd only count 1,2,3 they'd go back to their seats and keep quiet. but lately, they have changed. things have changed in the classroom since liam arrived.

so i told the principal,"sir, i want my kids back. if i had known things would get worse as this, i shouldnt have allowed him to teach. i want to teach my kids again the whole day. i dont want them to go to 7th grade with this new attitude they have. they dont follow our class rules anymore. i feel sorry for them."

so principal talked to the guy and liam was so upset about it.

today is his last day of teaching. i was out in the afternoon practicing for the play then one of my students came to tell me liam threw scissors to JJ's head. whew. so i went running. after a few mins, i learned that there are two girls missing in my class. i asked someone to look for them around the campus but he came back disappointed, and this is 15mins before 3pm, the school dismissal. at 3:15, the 2 girls arrived. they said they went to penthouse, a refreshment area owned by one of them. this girl is a supreme court judge's daughter.i sent them to the principal's office. how couldn't liam notice two of my kids went out of the room while he's there teaching?whew.boy, obviously, he cant handle my class.

more parents came today after school to complain about their kids' grades in language and social studies. these are the subjects liam teaches in my class! they told the principal,'everthing was smooth sailing before. how could you hire someone when school is almost over?he's not helpful to the kids!"

boy, the principal was so disappointed. i dont know what to do either. i'm just glad i'll be back to teaching them next week and i need to help them make up to pull their grades up. parents are worried. principal is disappointed. i am pressured. *sigh*

i have only one month left to bring my kids back to normalcy. we cannot mess up this time.

boy,what a day. what an experience.

excitement!

2008-04-10T05:16:00.000-07:00

I am so excited! I knew it! This year will be a blast!:)

sweet apology letter

2008-02-28T00:49:00.000-08:00

i knew it.

2008-02-18T18:26:00.000-08:00

a new challenge indeeed. i sprained my ankle real hard on the first day of this new week.whew.

we went to the rock islands that sunday and arrived home at 5pm. i took a shower real fast so i could go to the faculty lounge to do some research before the sun sets. while i was going down the stairs from our 3rd floor apartment, i tripped. waaaaaaaaah. right foot twisted...laptop on my butt... it was my first time to experience that. my co-workers who were living on the 2nd floor brought me upstairs and i applied hot and cold compress on the swollen area. that night i couldnt walk. the next morning, it was still very painful to walk.i was absent in class.

im glad pastor mar was there with his wife next door. he massaged the swollen area and it felt better after. i was able to go to school in the afternoon but i needed a rod that time. it was still painful.

today, it's way better than yesterday! my walking is normal again and the pain is almost gone.yay!!!!

there's always a first time..that was challenging enough. parents aren't here, boyfriend isn't here. but i managed! im still thankful it's not dislocation. :) God is here.

random thoughts

2008-02-16T07:39:00.000-08:00

Since I arrived from US last january, many things have changed - emotionally, spiritually, and socially. Things here get boring, everything has been routinary. Thank God, 3 months are left before the schoolyear ends.

Plans have changed too. I'll keep them between me and God for now.

I am glad I am back to my daily devotions. Spending time with Him every morning is really great. Talking with my Creator before I face each day gives me more confidence and more drive to do the tasks He has given me.

Well, another week is here. I know there will be new trials, new experiences with the kids, new challenges, new opportunities to show love, new discoveries within me and others.

=)

wish i am a creative writer..

2008-01-13T03:12:00.000-08:00

wonderful.beautiful.amazing.happy.

these are the only words i could describe my whole trip in US. i could not find the right words. everything has been so wonderful, beautiful, and amazing. this is one of the times that i wish i am a creative writer so i could vividly describe every moment of the trip.

the smiles tell it all :)

with my aunts in las vegas

im back in palau now. im back to the real world. the principal was shocked when he saw me arriving in school. he said he wouldn't be surprised if i opted to stay there and that he'd be surprised if i'd come back. knowing the number of filipinos who went to US and didnt come back, i couldnt blame him. but i was true to my word, i did come come back - still whole and willing to teach. i told him, "why don't you believe me that palau is where God wants me to be this year?" he laughed. i laughed too.

the trip was wonderful, amazing, and beautiful. i like it there but God told me it wasnt the right time for me to stay for good. THERE IS A RIGHT TIME, and that time is perfect and fool-proof.:)

miracles and blessings!!!

2007-12-25T22:44:00.000-08:00

just posing at hilton minneapolis

merry christmas everyone!

when this year started, i just wished for guimaras. i really wanted to visit that small island in visayas. i also had a plan to study in a bible college in US. but things changed. God had much better plans.

instead of guimaras, He sent me to palau to teach 25 sixth graders in palau sda school. it is a new experience and the only word that describes this big shift in my life is: CHALLENGING.whew.but it was clear, palau is where God wants me to be this year and next year after months of praying and pleading to Him.

because of this palau job, my plan to study in US was cancelled...but..but..God had a plan for that too.He never ceases to amaze me. He wanted me to attend the general youth conference in minessotta. the visa application was emotionally and psychologically draining but i got it!:) i arrived in US on dec15. cielito and his two sda friends picked me up from the airport. he's soooooo loving and sooooo handsome. i flew to minneapolis on dec19 and stayed with my korean roommates at hilton minneapolis. the weather in MN was really crazy. sooooooo cold. it was snowing the 2nd day i stayed there and it snowed again on the day i left the state for LA. in effect, flights were delayed and some were even cancelled. goodness..but my stay there was really great and incomparable. GYC was a blessing. messages were powerful. and..and..who would have thought i'd see snow this year? and experience -20C temperature? it was really crazy but fun!next GYC 2008 will be in in san jose, california. hopefully and prayerfully, ill be there.*wink*

GYC at minneapolis convention center

ang lamig!!!!!

life here has been good. ill be in las vegas this weekend with my uncles. time flies soooo fast too. the week after next week, ill leave for palau. :( but then again, it was clear palau is where God wants me to be this school year and teaching 6th graders is what He wants me to do. next school year, who knows where ill be? im always ready for surprises, Lord. i love you.

im sooo excited!!!

2007-11-25T03:14:00.000-08:00

i am doing a countdown. 19 days more and i'll be leaving for USA! I am sooo excited!!! I will leave from here in koror to manila on dec14. UP buddies liz and ais will see me at the airport and will entertain me until i check in for my LA flight the next day early morning. i can't wait to see those girls too! it has been a loooooooong time. they are the best and most loveable girls i know.

i will have two stopovers in Japan - one in Nagoya and the other one is in Tokyo. that would be lotsa fun! i'll get to see a lot of places. yes, i know i'll just be at the airport but still, it's a different place.hahaha. i will arrive in LA on dec15 745am and my cielito will get me from there. i am soooo excited and scared at the same time. excited because i would see him and this meeting is finally an answered prayer after 7months of appealing to God; scared because i'll be in a totally different world at that time and i might forget I am actually teaching here in palau and i have 25 students waiting for my return in january.

on dec19, i will leave LA to minneapolis for the general youth conference where i am part of the communciation team. i will stay in Hilton hotel with Korean roommates until dec23. then ill fly back to LA and stay at my uncles' in corona city or at my uncle's in modesto or at my cielito's in burbank.

i will leave LA in jan7, arrive in manila in jan8 late evening and fly to koror in jan9. jan11 is again parent-teacher conference so i need to prepare for that. so goodluck nalang sa jetlag na yan. walang jetlag jetlag rica..

i dont think this US trip in december is wrong timing for me because the youth conference which is my main purpose of the trip falls in december... it's just that one of my bestfriends who lives in san jose, CA wont be there because she will go home to davao on the same day ill arrive in LA. her sis' wedding is on dec18. also, one of my closest AMiCUS friends in Diliman (who is in minneapolis now for a job training) will also leave US on the same day ill arrive in LA. waaaaaaaaaah. he is supposed to be my tour guide in minnesotta. oh well.. they have their lives too. so definitely, this is a solo trip. i have to accept that.

a blessing from the Lord still! i am soooo happy.. i am sooo excited...

mama, papa, i will miss you.

thank you, Lord!

2007-11-10T22:49:00.000-08:00

got it. visa granted. 1 entry. good for 6 months. be there in december.

what a gift, Lord! thank you so much!

i dont want to be anxious!

2007-11-04T05:50:00.000-08:00

This week I will do something that's beyond my control. It makes me nervous but I have to do it. I will do it. God, help me. I should not be scared, I should not be nervous. As I said, it is beyond my control so I will let Him take control. :)

Pray for me, people.

sombrero

2007-10-02T01:01:00.000-07:00

i have spanish-speaking co-teachers and among all my foreign co-teachers, they have been the friendliest.

yesterday, we saw each other at the shopping center and they invited me to eat with them in Bandidos, a mexican restaurant, near my apartment. and they added cheerfully, "and we can take a picture wearing our sombreros."

i said,"how did u know that word? it's filipino."

nicole knows how to speak little filipino so i thought she got it from her Filipino friends.

she said,"its Spanish."

"oh yeah right.you all conquered us for 300years!" i said jokingly.

"hey, hey, hey, they conquered us too." all three of them said almost together.

and so we went out to meet the americans. they wanted to eat out too. at first i was kinda hesitant because i am the only filipino who's going. but when we arrived at the place where restaurants are (i dont know the street but it is just one block from my apartment), the spanish-speaking gals cornered me and told me to follow them. there i knew, we were going to bandidos alone. the others were going somewhere.

while eating, we had so much fun discussing about each other's cultures, families, education, countries, etc. i ordered chicken taquitos, by the way.and here we are with our sombreros. Tania said, "i think we should do this often!"

from left: tania (half-costa rican,half-guatemalan),nicole (half-guatemalan, half-cuban), me, and rebecca (half-el salvadorian, half-guatemalan)

so these are my new friends. are spanish-speaking people gifts from heaven? my boyfriend is panamanian. *wink*

seeing God in Palau

2007-09-07T00:14:00.000-07:00

homesick

2007-08-25T18:20:00.000-07:00

for the first time in 2weeks, i felt sooo homesick last night. i miss my family, especially opong so much.waaaaaaaaaaaaah.cried and cried last night.

:(

whew.

2007-08-16T20:34:00.000-07:00

what a day.

the whole time this morning, i was under the sun.the heat is really different here in palau. it seeps through the skin and sucks all the energy that i have. it seems like only palau has the sun. it was good that we only have half-day today because one,it is the welcome back party of the students and two,it is friday.i love fridays now!!we only have half-day classes.

i still cram for my classes every night because i wasnt well-prepared. i should have arrived 2weeks before they started. i arrived last sunday because of immigration reasons. the day after, it's the first day of school.whew.i was able to review what the cell theory is and cells' characteristics..the early life of humans, map reading, Bible stories and lessons during my 6th grade. yes, im teaching 6th grade. i am glad their books are great - bookbound, comprehensive, have teachers' edition and well-explained. promise, ill prepare more for the next month this weekend. i need to do lots of things. i still have to think of what projects will i require from them this school year. ok, ok, ill think it over the weekend.

my cousin is coming tonight!yay!!!she will be a missionary teacher in the same school where i am teaching so we will share the same apartment. she's a good cook so it's a plus too.hahaha.

we'll be swimming and snorkeling under the bridge on sunday. cannot wait. i saw that bridge when i was about to land last sunday. it was sooo beautiful. i wont forget my digicam.:)

that's all for now. palau is good.

good things

2007-07-31T00:09:00.000-07:00

things that make me laugh/smile for the past 2weeks:

1. My cute bro was selected by his classmates' parents to represent his class in the Mr. Nutrition pageant. rarampa siya sa friday. waaaaaaaah. sana ma-perfect niya ang "ako po si Rico Rodolfo Yap Bolos, representing level 1!"
2. My Cielito is still understanding and patient as ever. happy 3 months!
3. I was finally done with my medical examination and palau got it already. whew!
4. I got superior intelligence, according to my neuro-psychiatrist. hello, ang dali kaya ng mga questions ng 3 tests.hihihi.
5. My sister was finally given a chance to work so she can save for her NCLEX and CGFNS exams.
6. I got pics of my future room, kitchen, and bathroom in Palau! Everything is nice. I cant wait to go.Thanks, Ruben!
7. I got a new Korean friend. her name is Linda.
8. A baby is coming! Congratulations to Cielito's best friends Brad and Denae!
9. Alchemy's two former hosts made it to the top12 of Be Bench. One of them is a former student of mine in UP.
10. Blessing Echo Singers did great last Sabbath. I was sooooo blessed!
11. Ate Lau, my 28yr old UP schoolmate, finally announced to the world that she is ready to have a boyfriend. hahaha. go, ate lau!

last sabbath 07/21/07

2007-07-23T19:24:00.000-07:00

"I am so glad that Jesus loves me..Jesus loves me.."

sinong gaya gaya?

my big little bro

2007-07-18T21:19:00.000-07:00

hey, pay attention to the ceremony!

where is your Bible, bearer?

looking more like papa..

boy na boy na talaga!

for the first time..

2007-07-05T00:00:00.000-07:00

i finally got busy for the first time after 2yrs of working. i went back to my former employer - an advertising agency - and my boss gave me loads of tasks to do. i just directed and wrote a documentary on the premiere high school in Mindanao. i spent sleepless nights in the office. i couldnt believe im back to the broadcasting world again. for the months that i have stayed here in the company, i can say it's all worth it. this is the first time after my graduation 2years ago that i have finally practiced my production skills.

the documentary is done now. nexta ssignment is to conceptualize a talk show for channel 28 by RODY project. whew!

while im enjoying this part of my life now, im also sad at the same time because im leaving this company for good soon. i just handed my resignation letter last week. i felt nostalgic about it. i have already learned to love the freelance artists, the production crew, and my understanding boss. but i dont want this "better" opportunity to pass by. i have always known im for a better place and better job.

wish me luck. all for God's glory!

Chloe..oh Chloe..

2007-06-19T19:32:00.000-07:00

i havent watched 24 all my life but i know it is one of the most-watched TV series in the world. the suspense and mystery of the show and the charm and strength of all the characters entice the audience to stay on and be excited on every episode that is to come. one of the biggest fans of 24 that i know is my boss - Dax.

Dax always compares me with Chloe, the character played by actress Mary Lynn Rajskub in 24. but why oh why? Dax said whenever he watches 24, he could see me in the set because of Chloe's presence. according to my research,Chloe is good in computers while i am not. she has demonstrated proficiency with handguns and automatic weapons while I don't know anything about weaponry. so what makes me comparable to chloe, i asked Dax.

"Look at the way she looks like while working and worries about things." so i looked for her pics online. oh boy. whatever.

so everybody in the office is calling me Chloe now. is that good or bad? i guess i should buy DVDs of 24 soon so i'll find out.

B- traveler ako :(

2007-06-17T18:42:00.001-07:00

I am just a B- traveler, according to Lakbayan. i will make it an A very very soon. anyone?

Godsend

2007-06-06T21:25:00.000-07:00

This song by DC Talk has been playing on my head for days now.This is the first time that i appreciated a soft rock Christian music. =)

Hoping, praying, Ive been waiting
Everybody needs somebody to love
Theres no question, straight from heaven
Youre my angel, Im so crazy for you

(chorus)
Youre a Godsend
A blessing from above
Youve been God-sent to me
Youre the Godsend
Ive been dreaming of
Youre a Godsend

Holding your hand, touching your face
I will love you now and always I swear
I will never forget that first moment we met
When two worlds collided and I found my best friend

(repeat chorus)

(bridge)
I was made for you, you were made for me
In this lonely world, we were meant to be in love

I will never forget that first moment we met
When two worlds, they crashed in
And I found my best friend

(repeat chorus)

another stupid publicity..

2007-05-25T01:15:00.000-07:00

oh no..this is all over davao city now. why do people get crazy sometimes?

2007-05-24T19:48:00.000-07:00

peace, man...

random updates

2007-05-16T01:08:00.001-07:00

- yes, i didn't vote and i didnt feel guilty about it. papa got angry but he cannot force me.*wink*
- im sort of productive today! yay!!
- got hold of an acceptance letter from a US college. but..my name there was rico bolos. uh-oh.. i returned it and told them to give me another letter with my correct name on it...right now!*kidding*
- my baby bro is going to pre-school this june. i cannot wait to accompany mama buy his uniforms, shoes, pencils, crayons, etc.
- my nene is sleeping now with his cam on. im glad hes not snoring.hahahha
- there are many things to look forward to this year and im sooooo excited!

to vote or not to vote

2007-05-13T20:15:00.000-07:00

i still cannot make up my mind if i will vote or not. all those who are running do and say the same things, promise many things. i can no longer distinguish who's real and fake. i can no longer tell who really is a true servant.

really, do we still have hope? i cannot convince myself of this.

but if ever i'll vote today..my bets would be:

1. Kiko Pangilinan
2. Anthony Trillanes
3. Joker Arroyo
4. NoyNoy Aquino

that's all...

2007-04-23T01:20:00.000-07:00

"When you bow down before God and admit dependence on Him, He will lift you up and give you honor."

James 4:10

high school reunion

2007-03-22T03:06:00.000-07:00

i came home late last night. we had a high school reunion. as usual, we had a great time. some classmates who are already working in manila came home and they treated everybody a barrel of beer and 3 pitchers of gin pine. again, i didnt drink. hehehe. but im glad everybody was happy, especially the boys. my first love was there, my classmates since grade 1 were there. my close and not-so-close friends were there too.

there wasn't a dull moment last night. we always laughed remembering the experiences we had 6-9 years ago and i am amazed on how sharp my ex-classmates' memories are. i couldn't even recall those things all by myself. one topic was about the wooden bridge we were required to make in our physics class. while everybody was reminiscing the past and the details on how they came up with their individual bridges, i was squeezing my brain out recalling if i indeed made a bridge that time.

"Why can't i remember that?" i asked the noisy group.

"ambot nimo uy..asa ka atong panahuna!" Diana and Carlo, the two fat cam whores we have in IV-Diamond, said.

Still trying to recall that "bridge" incident, somebody suddenly talked.

"I was the one who made your bridge." it was my ex.

Silence. The rain poured harder.

After three seconds, everbody went back talking again. this time, it's no longer about the bridge.

happy family

2007-02-13T20:45:00.000-08:00

papa gave mama red roses yesterday. awww...

i still cannot imagine how my parents have sustained the love that they have for each other. they still walk hand in hand on the way to Bangkerohan market on Sunday mornings, they still jog together. they still smile flirtatiously at each other. one time, i caught them stealing winks at each other during church services.

my parents have a weird love story. they only had a one-month courtship and NO friendship, contrary to what the elders keep on advising us, "Long friendship and short engagement makes a successful marriage." papa's first pasalubong to mama on his first visit to her house is camote. the next week, it's papaya. during their courtship, papa's first gift to her is a brassiere. mama's family doesnt like him because he isnt chinese. she is a daughter of a Chinese lawyer-politician from Cebu. mama was 22, papa was 24.

in one of their chats last year, they realized that they had actually met in their pre-teen years. papa was a popsicle vendor outside of an exclusive school where mama went to. everyday, mama would buy papa's products and she would always love to choose ube flavor. this is one thing that papa remembered in her a long time ago. who would forget this chubby girl who always disarranged his piles of popsicle inside the icebox? so every before dismissal time, papa would already prepare mama's favorite popsicle ube flavor. little did they know they'd meet again 15 years later.

now they have 4 children. the girls are 11 months apart from each other. the boys are 13 years apart. the eldest and the youngest have a 20-year age gap. all have straight shiny hair. hahaha!

This Feb 28, we will all be celebrating their 24th anniversarry. and i am hoping that the love that we all have for each other in the family will continue on.

their love story may not be the best story in the world but i believe that is the way God designed their love story to be - no friendship, 1-month courtship, but 100-year of companionship (who knows?). what matters is what they have established as a couple. what matters is not how they started but how they sustained the relationship up to now - with love and with God.

by the way, their love story won in the Best Love Story contest organized by Chowking last year. *wink*

new year's resolutions

2007-01-23T19:36:00.000-08:00

it is not yet late to formulate my new year's resolutions, is it?

1. Wait on God.
2. Keep my mouth shut.
3. Do not get angry so easily.

So help me God.

listen to me..

2007-01-03T23:17:00.000-08:00

first things first: happy new year!life is wonderful!this year will be a blast im sure.

"if a little birdie in the skydropped a poopoo in your eye, dont scream, dont cry. Just thank God carabaos dont fly!"

Blessings, blessing first:

1. my baby brother now knows how to count 1-20. Thanks to Barney!
2. we already have a DVD player at home...and i got addicted to Grey's anatomy. i will finish
watching Season 1 tonight.
3. i have the energy to check papers today! hope this will sustain until weekend.whew.
4. david and i got back together. Just today. God really works in mysterious ways.
5. i now know what's wrong with me. i am impatient, overeager, dominating, and untrusting.
now i know what to change.
6. i have semi-final plans for june.*wink*
7. i want to go to guimaras in summer! a friend is offering free accommodation. cool!2 years
ago, it was palawan. last year, i went to bacolod and camiguin. this time, its guimaras!
cant wait!i love being single!
8. i bought two books from PCBS yesterday. i learned a lot.
9. i got 600 for doing nothing yesterday. wahahahaha!
10. my friends are helpful for me to learn things about life. yes, i need help. at 22, i dont know
much.

the love of mothers

2006-12-12T23:30:00.000-08:00

why is my mom soooo kind?

yesterday,i had a long day. not a very good day. at some point, i cried.

when i arrived home from work, i saw my room already cleaned up. my shoes were well-arranged, my dirty clothes were washed, my books and paper stuff were piled neatly. my bed sheets and pillow cases were changed, my pc has a cover already, and the floor was shiny. my room was changed for the better and i was sooooo happy seeing it and lying down on my bed.

while i was contemplating on the things that had happened that day inside my room, mama got inside carrying a plate of my favorite fried bananas. how can she be soooo good to me? not that im a bad daughter to her. i just wonder why moms can feel their children's needs. really amazing! mama is killing me with her kindness! waaaaah!

when she left my room, i said, "ma, salamat sa pag-arrange (holding back my tears)."

she asnwered,"ok na ka?"

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

this morning, shes the first person who greeted me. she asked, "did you have a good sleep?"

i smiled. i had a very very good sleep.

bakit ba?

2006-11-19T21:20:00.000-08:00

this morning i told my friend from the ad agency that i would treat her to lunch. just for a change. i rarely get a chance to talk to her heart to heart. her first reaction was, "Ikakasal ka na ba?"

i also invited through SMS my lawyer-friend to join us. his office is just a block away from the ad agency. he replied,"bakit, ikakasal ka na?"

after lunch i went to UP to attend our 2pm faculty meeting. when i arrived, i logged in to YM since my co-teachers havent arrived yet. i IMd one of my good friends from the university who is based in palau, just initiating a conversation..

rica: hi kuya!musta?what are you doing?
teofy: eto,preparing a long quiz for my students. why,are you getting married?

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! bakit ba? do you guys see it coming?

who are you?

2006-11-07T21:36:00.000-08:00

yesterday i went to AVON after 3pm to pay some dues. on my way home from avon, i decided to drop by at the nearest mall to buy some pasalubong for my mom and 2 brothers at home. i rode a jeepney and sat beside the driver. i paid 10 pesos for my fare and expected a 3-peso exchange. but no, he agve me 4 pesos instead. i placed the four 1-peso coins in my purse and felt guilty after. will i return the one-peso? the driver thought im still a student that's why he only got 6 pesos from my fare. can i be blamed i look like a student? For 2 mins, i struggled with the thought.

but a big part of my heart says i had to return the extra peso. i knew im not a student. if i wouldnt return that peso, that experience would haunt me forever. so i readily got the small coin from my purse and handed it to the driver, "Sobra binigay nyo,kuya." i did it with a smile.

i finally arrived at the mall. i unconsciously forgot that incident while buying KFC burgers. i bought six - one for myself, one for mama, one for opong, one for rr, and two for my two cousins who live with us. i happily went out and looked for a jeepney bound for bangkal. i was proud i bought food for my cute and fat family. hehehehe. the problem was, i didnt want to be seen by our neighbors bringing food while walking the 100-meter difference from the highway to our house. nakakhiya kayang magdala ng pagkain ayaw mo namang i-share...so instead of dropping at the highway, i asked the jeepney driver if he's going to tour around the subdivision to get more passengers back to downtown. he faced me and nodded. i was happy with the gesture becasue he would be passing by our house and he can just drop me off. but i saw a surprising stare from the driver's eyes. sensing that i got uncomforatble, he readily got back into driving but i could see him stealing glances at me. i was sooooooo uncomfortable. what is his problem? why stare at me like that?

our house was finally in sight. what a relief. i could finally escape his creepy stares. when i was about to get off, he said,"Ikaw yung nakasakay sa front seat kanina,diba?" i gave him a suspicious look. "kato gud nagbakbalik sa piso." my face brightenend. "salamat ha.."i gave him my sweetest smile and got off.

thank you also, kuya. thank you din, piso. you two made my day.

a poignant letter

2006-10-22T01:05:00.000-07:00

i received an email more than a year ago from a guy who's also a member of www.adventistsinglesconnection.com. and i never forgot this letter from him. it has touched me. i read this a thousand times already and it has always moved like the first time i read it.

my name in the site is bigbaby, by the way.

*****

Bigbaby,

I am an Adventist man who is also a member of a generic "find-a-bride" site, where lots of Filipina Catholics about your age contact me. It's funny, but it seems fine when they contact me--a man my age--but considering contacting you is such a challenge. I guess that's because you are SDA and they are not. I can tell from your writing that you are very well educated while, of course, many of the young Catholic women who contact me do not know much English and seem mostly interested in getting to America ... rather than finding the man that God intends for them to meet.

What you wrote on your profile is quite different from anything else I have read ... here or in other sites where Filipinas search for a husband. You speak of mistakes made, being misled by your own interests instead of following God's leading, and about realizing the error and turning back to God's will rather than following your own into regrettable relationships.

If you knew my story, you would recognize that I am one who waited MUCH longer to turn back. And I have some deep regrets.But I always knew where God was, prayed like one long open prayer, while living a life outside the church. God never gave up on me, and finally, I couldn't resist returning. But even the return is slow ... but steady.

My reasons for seeking an Asian wife are many--not the least of which is that my sons are half-Asian. And that's simply where my attraction is. I don't want to put limits on the will of God, so I am open to whoever He points in my direction ... or allows me to find. But I sense that my natural attraction to the beauty of Asian women is inspired by God, and not anything I "invented" for myself.

My reason for seeking a Christian woman is probably somewhat selfish: I need someone to remind me not to stray. I need someone who will make sure that I go to church ... even when not feeling like getting out of bed on Saturday morning. I want someone who will not let me live like a Sunday-keeper who just happens to go to church on the Sabbath. I need a woman out of Proverbs and the Song of Solomon who will see part of her life's work as being the"task" of helping to guide he husband into the light and away from the "fleshpots of Egypt," so to speak.

I'm too old for you, Bigbaby. Don't feel embarrassed if you aren't comfortable writing back. Not that I wouldn't be pleased to hear from you or amazed if somehow I fell within the parameters of your search, but I'm a rational man with no illusions about where I am on the continuum. You have a lot more to look forward to than a 54 year old man--even one who might understand who you are and what you want a man to help you do in your life. Instead, my message to you is more about thanking you for reminding me that I am not the only one who has learned from drifting away and being willful ... and especially from finding that God is always willing to forgive and welcome us back. I hope that some young guy ... someone like me, but 20 years younger ... okay! 25 years younger ... finds your profile and feels the same about it as I do. God may be preparing him for finding you right now. Don't despair.

You are right to advise potential suitors that you are not interested in premarital sex. But when the time comes for you to lift that bas--when you marry--please remember that God invented sex, and that it is a wonderful gift meant to be shared between husband and wife with great abandon and surrender to each other. Never use it as a weapon or a bribe. You will probably face the temptation some day to use it as a tool to make your husband conform to your expectations ... but even if your motives are good, using sex that way can only diminish the beauty of the act and the depth of the intimacy between you. So avoid its misuse after you fully understand the power it will have over the man you will love ... and who will love you.

Crazy letter, huh?

Sometimes you just have to write what you feel you must. Know what I mean? May you continue in the direction your profile says you are going ... and not try to take back the reigns from the One you know should lead the way.

Curtis

****

just an hour ago, i came across his profile and found this:

met someone online ! Consequently I'm not looking anymore. I will leave the page as proof that you CAN meet someone this way.

By the way, she is a widow with two kids, an Adventist, and from the Philippines. She will join me here in the Spring.

****

wala lang. nakakatuwa. im happy for him. :)

nothing more to say and prove

2006-10-09T04:05:00.000-07:00

i am back from bohol! i enjoyed being with my relatives. ill post pics here next time. twas a short but worthwhile vacation. but the highlight of all happenings happened last sunday night...in cebu.

i came home earlier than mama. i took the fast craft from tagbialran to cebu. days before that, i already texted earl to fetch me because i would be travelling alone and i dont know cebu very well. my relatives in cebu are in tagbilaran so there's no one to take care of me when i'd arrive in the heart of visayas.

as usual, he hesitated. too many excuses. earl is always like that. that was my 3rd time in 5months to ask him to fetch me from the pier or airport in cebu. when i arived in cebu pier, i just texted my not-so-close-friend to fetch me instead. she came. buti pa siya...

when i arrived at her house to take a few hours of sleep (my flight is at 5am the day after), earl texted. he said he would like to fetch me. too late..his strict father allowed him to make rounds in mandaue and lapu lapu to visit their security guards in different establishments so he might as well bring me along. i told him not to bother because i needed some rest. he would not believe me and so he went to where i stayed. he drove his car. yeah..he's already driving...

he wore the shirt i bought for him 2 years ago. the amicus shirt. hahaha.it had an "earl" at the back. i tried to recall where was my "rica" shirt that i bought together with his shirt. i sadly recalled that i left it in palawan last december. sad...i should have worn that too.

so i accompanied him around. he toured me. we went to different resorts and hotels checking out their security guards. earl has gotten stricter. poor security guards. they're reprimanded of their sleepiness, lousy uniforms, having no socks and caps, rusty pistols, etc. i laughed at him while he was talking to them. he's learning to be the boss...at 23.

while we were in montebello, he said many things about the past. our being immature, our letters, our tears and laughters. wala pa nato to nastoryahan diba?he asked. i helped him remember the breakup letter. he stopped me. it's not worthy to be remembered, he said. why? it was part of our past.

he said, "You just don't know."

"what do you mean?" i asked.

we gave each other our sweetest smiles.

my smile said..i did my best.. nothing more to say, nothing more to prove.

we exchanged the same smiles again when he got me at my friend's house at 1am.

but the message didnt change..thank you, earl.

im going to bohol

2006-10-04T18:13:00.000-07:00

mama and i are flying to bohol very very soon. im so happy. it has been three years since i last visited my hometown. i miss the beaches, our house, and my not-so-close relatives.

the reason why we are going there is becasue my uncle from CA is coming and he's celebrating his 50th birthday at a very sophisticated hotel. he wanted his he-doesnt-know niece to be the emcee of his party and, of course, it wouldnt be complete if his favorite sister will not attend (my mother). the theme of the party is hawaiian. two days ago, i bought a cute skirt and blouse hawaiian dress. as expected, it's red. hehehe...

too bad i can only stay over the weekend becasue i have an exam to administer on monday, 8am!it would be better if it was scheduled later in the afternnoon of monday. at least, ill have more time bonding with my chinese cousins whom i havent seen for ssssoooooooooooo long. i know...i know...the exam cannot me moved so i have to be home sunday night.

yehey!i need this break. i need to travel again in order to be refreshed. welcome me, bohol!

me bad teacher

2006-09-28T17:23:00.000-07:00

i felt so bad after leaving my fil1 class yesterday. i punished one student for not being prepared in delivering his talumpati.

i arrived in the classroom at 11:40.only half of my students were there. i understood. they are bio students and they always come from their college which is one-kilometer away. after checking the attendance, I waited fo the others to arrive. at 11:45, i finally decided to start their speech performance, one of their major requirements in class. i started calling names randomly.

after i heard two speeches, i called out Jeff for his turn. He said, "Ma'am , mamaya na,mamaya na, ma'am. Hindi pa po handa."

"Sinasabi mo yan sa akin, Jeff?" i asked him. He just gave me a shy smile.

But deep inside, I was pissed off. I gave them one week to prepare for their speeches, and here's a brat telling me he's not prepared?gosh...what a student!

i continued calling on other names. most of the time, i caught Jeffrey at the corner of my eye memorizing lines.

after everybody had delivered their speeches, i stood up and started telling them my comments. Jeffrey stopped me by telling,"Ma'am, ako po?"

"Jeffrey, tama na. sobra na."

and i saw the most dreaded expression a student can show me in class. i cannot explain it. it's not offensive in my part. it's an expression of being embarrassed. i hate to see embarrassed faces in front of me, much more if i cause the embarrassment. i hate seeing those because i know they are uncomfortable with the feeling. i hate those becasue im not used to embarrasing students in class.

i feel sorry for jeff. but i would feel "sorrier" for my self if i tolerated his actuation yesterday.

am i a bad teacher?

funny!this is true

2006-09-26T21:31:00.000-07:00

Your True Birth Month Is October

SelfishDecisiveRomanticEmotionalConcernedDaydreamerSympatheticJust and fairLoves to chatBad temperedLoves outdoorsVery opinionatedStrong clairvoyanceAttractive and suaveEasily lose confidenceAlways making friendsDoes not lie or pretendTouchy and easily jealousInner and physical beautyTreats friends importantlySeldom helps unless askedEasily hurt but recovers easilySoft-spoken, loving and caringLoves those who love in returnSpendthrift and easily influencedDoes not care of what others thinkLoves to travel, the arts and literature

What's" Your True Birth Month?

another tiring encounter..

2006-09-26T00:20:00.000-07:00

Boy (using his new number): Hows life rica? Whats new with you?
(no reply)
Boy : still up?
(no reply)

AFTER ONE WEEK....

Boy : Hows life rica? Whats new with you?
Me (pretending she doesnt know his new number) : Whos this?
Boy : _ _ _ _ _ _
Me : Regards mo ako nanay and tatay. hope they're doing fine.
Boy : Sure. Miss ka na nila.
Me : Miss them also. they're still in my prayers.
Boy : Nice to hear that. whats new with you?

(no reply)

AFTER 5 HOURS...

Me : bakit ngayon ka lang nagtxt? after 2 months...what for?

AFTER 3 HOURS...

Boy : Wala lang. masama ba?

Loser. Looooooooooooooooossssssssseeeeeeeeeeeer!

and a different love story begins...

2006-09-25T02:35:00.000-07:00

i am soooo happy for my best friend, auje.

we started as phone pals in grade 6 then we became classmates in high
school. we met a cute guy in our freshman year. eventually, he got a crush on me and we exchanged love letters since then. my first love letter, as a matter of fact, was from him.auje became our bridge, literally. she sat between us in the classroom and was the "bridge" of our love notes. he and auje were of the same faith and became good friends as well. yeah, just good friends.

auje and i went to UPdil to pursue our beloved dreams. i'm into broadcast communciation, she's into geology. we never stopped communicating even if our respective colleges are kilometers apart. we always found time to catch each other's latest happenings on our love lives, academics, and extra curricular activities. isaw and barbecued gizzard strengthened our bond. auje is the bestest friend i ever have. i appreciate all her efforts to surprise me and send me cute gifts.

when i graduated, i left Manila right away. i left her also. feeling very lonely and abandoned by her "not-so-sweet" bestfriend (peace,auj..), auje sent me a message asking for the available math and physics subjects in UPmin. she planned to cross-register from UPdil. since i have been teaching in UPmin, she thought I knew the answers to her inquiry. i passed her on to reynan, our classmate in high school, who was also tkaing math and physics subjects in his architecture course.

little did i know that that "passing on" would create a wonderful love. at first, i would not believe becasue reynan is known of his uncertainties in dealing with girls while auje has a problem when it comes to commitments..but here they are, very ahppy with each other. technology and years of friendship have made the world smaller. look at their smiles, arent they genuine?

now, i am their bridge. i have been a witness of "their" story and i am sooooooo happy for them. God knows how thnakful i am to have witnessed a love story unravelling naturally.

cheers for both of you!:)

a miracle

2006-09-20T19:40:00.000-07:00

i feel very happy nowadays. i must have been a vry good girl to Him.

who says having braces is fun?

2006-09-10T23:31:00.000-07:00

my teeth suck now. the dentist tightened the braces again and i'm like it's my first time to have this mettalic mouth. i feel pain. i feel regrets. and i want to forget this feeling.

it's been a month since i last visited the dentist that's why he made major revisions on his masterpiece (parang revising an essay noh?hhehehe.writing teacher tlga ako!). usually, he just made minor adjustments like it's just the brace on one tooth or two. with that, i can only feel painless move of my teeth...but..but..but yesterday, he adjusted every tooth i have.argh!a payment of being a bad girl to him.

i want to sleep. i want to go home. this is not happiness anymore.

who says having braces is fun?

my son...my son...

2006-09-03T23:08:00.000-07:00

when you were still in the womb, i shed pails of water. i didnt expect you're coming. you are unexpected. but when i saw your charming and angelic face, everone around you changed also. you are a blessing opong. you really are. you're the reason why i want to come home everyday. you're the reason why i always want to wake up becasue i can kiss your armpits and neck again.

you're 1 and half years old here in this photo. back then you already knew how to bathe without drowning yourself.

i always believe you are the sweetest among the four siblings. God made you so. you love sitting at our balcony enjoying the ants and mosquitoes around you. you always want to stay in our nipa hut in front of our house. you always want to stay outside our house.

many say you look like kuya rr. yeah i believe so too. i saw both you growing up and i must say you both look good to me.

"hello, banker?" you always say that every night. tatay mo ba siya?

now that you are 3 years old, i guess it's high time to tell the whole world about your person. i love you opong and i am proud of you.

who is your mother? who are your parents?do these facts matter?

do i look like oyur mother?do you wnat me to be your mother?hahahhaha.

happy birthday, opong!we all love you you!

happy birthday, opong!!!